be careful what you wish for
by Tess 4 5
Summary: When you feel miserable it's always good to have friends and places where you'll find relaxation, peace, and maybe more. And when you get the chance just make a wish.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's usual notes and disclaimer:** I don't own any of the original characters nor the original Inspector Lynley Mysteries – they belong to Elizabeth George and the BBC. I have borrowed the characters from the TV-Show and solely own the ideas of _my_ stories and the developments _I've_ let them go through.

Please write a **P** rivate **M** essage if I did something terribly wrong so I can fix it. Thanks!

Please read and review! More thanks!

* * *

 **Author's note and summary:** I know I've hidden a few themes of it in my previous texts but this one here (although playing in January) will be my real Christmas story. Once again I've had just a small scene in my head and a story grew around it. Only this time I start with the fluffy ending.

I wish you happy and most of all peaceful festive days and a nice start into 2017.

When you feel miserable it's always good to have friends and places where you'll find relaxation, peace, and maybe more. And when you get the chance just make a wish.

Enjoy...

* * *

 **.**

 **be careful what you wish for**

 **.**

* * *

The huge room with its stone walls and floor is decorated in green, red and straw yellow. There are huge branches, garlands and wreaths of fir tree with red ribbons and bows hanging at the walls or standing on surfaces. The huge Christmas tree is decorated in the same colours, completed with a lightchain, a few sweets, red apples and shiny glass bulbs. A star made of straw sits on its top. The only light in the hall comes from big candles placed strategically everywhere in the room. In the huge stone fireplace the logs crackle but give away just a bit of warmth.

That's why the woman sitting on the old settee, even though she wears a knitted sweater with a ridiculous pattern, is wrapped in a thick blanket, red of course, matching the rest of the decoration. Her feet in woollen socks are propped under her legs. Snuffling from time to time she is engrossed in a weighty tome. About three quarters of it already are read and it obviously is a captivating story because the voices coming from the kitchen do not really reach her mind.

There is a light smell of spices and the hint of champagne in the air and near the door a stack of cartonage and paper next to a blue rubbish bag wait to be collected. On the table next to the settee stands a box of tissues and nasal spray. Both are nearly empty. The glass with expensive bubbly instead is almost untouched.

Barbara still prefers a beer. Although she would not have started drinking at three in the afternoon. Perhaps spurred by something in the book her mind briefly wanders to a mug of hot chocolate but then she just pulls the blanket a bit tighter around herself and looks up to get some mental warmth from the burning fire. She sneezes.

Time to blow her nose.

* * *

Despite her runny nose she is completely relaxed and enjoys having the chance to calm down. There has been enough trouble, particularly recently, so she is glad that she is able to just sit here and do nothing at all but read a book. No trouble, no shouting neighbours, no blaring sounds of the city of London, no awful murder, no on call duties. Apart for the remnants of a bad cold there is just silence in this Cornish manor. Silence, calmness, good food, good drinks, just one festive occasion on New Year's Eve, and only teasing family banter. A few nice walks at the coast in the chilly wind with a wonderful man at her side has topped her stay. It even could have been perfect if Tommy would have been _her_ man, if he would have been more than just a friend. Unfortunately he is the 8th Earl of Asherton, lord of this house, and in his role as Detective Inspector of the Met he also is her boss. All those romantic wishes that had crossed her mind the previous days would stay where they were - in her mind. Forever.

Barbara finally takes a small sip from the crystal glass and carefully puts it back on the coaster. With a deep sigh she returns her attention to the last quarter of her reading matter. It has been the best distraction for the past few days here. Every evening she had sent her thoughts away from her perfectly romantic surroundings and into the fantastic world between the letters. Beasts fought by heroes, strong women keeping more magical creatures, wise children solving problems, wiser old men overlooking everything, miracles, only a few dramas, only a few deaths, but dreamlike lands, fairytale developments and fortunately only hints of romance - all this makes the perfect read for cold winter evenings. Or afternoons like this, when everybody around is calming down from the festivities. She snuffles and pulls her soft scarf closer around her neck.

* * *

Feet in felt slippers scuffling through the hall distract her from the words Barbara reads. She knows without looking whose feet are in it. She would have known their sound from hundreds of other feet. Although she had found those slippers rather amusing at first. Then she had put some of them on and never had walked through the house without some from then on. The stone floors are practical if you walk in here with muddy wet boots but they could get quite chilly in winter.

A well known aftershave overlays the spice and fir tree smell when Tommy comes to a halt next to the settee. Barbara still does not look up.

"It's rather cool in here, isn't it?" he says watching her blanket. She snuffles again.

"Hm? Ah, well, it's okay. As long as the fire still burns." Barbara still speaks through her nose and she hates it.

Silently Tommy pokes in the fire. Then he puts another log onto it and sits down next to Barbara. For a while he just stares into the fire and she keeps on reading. He watches her relaxed features and smiles. They sit like this for several moments. His smile had died eventually before she puts a finger between the pages and looks up.

* * *

"What?" she asks. She is not angry, she is not anxious, she even is not overly curious. She just returns his look. There is a pause in which Tommy just keeps looking at her. Thoughts visibly are running through his head and so it is no wonder that Barbara becomes more curious what this is about. She has no clue why he just sits there and keeps staring at her. Her smile starts to feel awkward but she manages to keep it up. This, she thinks, would be the perfect moment for her to kiss him. Or for him to kiss her. A light rosy touch appears on her cheeks. When he still makes no move to talk Barbara tilts her head just a little bit and was about to break the silence but Tommy gets there first.

"I love you." Although he had not intended to be so direct it simply bursts out of his mouth. He is oblivious to the annoyed groan his mother had elicited standing in the doorway. "But I don't know how to tell you."

Barbara does not hear Daze either. She just stares at him shocked. Her smile had vanished in an instant. Biting the right parts of his lower lip and feeling like a stupid schoolboy Tommy holds her gaze. His eyes are anxious. Everything he emanates was anxious. His Sergeant and friend for so many years just watches him in sheer disbelief. She dares not to trust her ears. He could not possibly have said what he had said, could he. He would have been more eloquent. He would have been more romantic. Plus he has had the best moments during the previous days to tell her that and he had not. He could not possibly blurt it out like that in this completely romantic setting. Could he? And Barbara absolutely has no idea how she should respond.

* * *

"So?" She never heard him speaking with such a careful voice. Such a careful, tenderly anxious voice. Barbara is sure she must be dreaming. She tries to speak anyway. The huskiness of her question surely only comes from her cold.

"What?"

"So... what's your answer?" There is a little crack in his voice, or maybe she only fantasises it. Barbara has to make sure she had heard him correctly.

"To what question?" Carefully she places the small piece of paper with the aphorism between the pages she had just been reading and snaps the book shut. Then she raises her eyes in the moment Tommy runs a hand through his hair. Everything inside her screams that he should stop doing this. Every time he does it, every time he pushes the unruly lock back it reminds her that she wants to do it. And then he shows his best irresistible lopsided grin.

"Actually I-" No, he still does not know what else he should say. In fact he already had said what is the most important so he cuts himself short and both keep staring at each other. Barbara knows she is the one who should say something. She even knows what she wants to say. Only she could not. She could not trust her ears and she could not trust her voice. She could have faith in her ridiculous fate though.

* * *

"Stop!" a female voice warns in the distance.

"Ah, bollocks." a boyish voice laughs.

Trampling feet could faintly be heard coming from the hallway, growing louder and ending with Tommy's nephew suddenly howling out loud right at the back of the settee. Both adults on the cushions jerk and look up at the young boy. Trevor waves a twig of mistletoe above Tommy's head and he is howling like a police car.

Angry about that interruption Tommy only gives him a glare. "Shut up, Trevor! Why don't you go and pester your brother?" Barbara has opted for a nervous chuckle. It is her fate. There never would be those perfect moments of romance in all her life. Everything always turns into something ridiculous at some point. Trevor grimaces disgusted.

"Ugh - that's stupid! I won't kiss him!"

He earns a confused look from his uncle. "Why should you?"

Groaning in annoyance the boy looks from one to the other. Every time he moves his head the bells at his ridiculous red fur hat jingle. Pointing his small index finger at Barbara he says "You have to kiss him." And shaking the mistletoe above his uncle's head he explains as if Tommy was a stupid little child "You know, this is a missiltoo. And Judith told me that when one is under a missiltoo he has to be kissed. So Barbara has to-"

Smiling Barbara cuts him short. This is getting far too complicated to get out and even too hilarious to be the romantic moment she always had dreamed of but Tommy's nephew of course could not yet know of all those things. "Darling, I don't _have to_. Even if you'd weave the twig into his hair. I'm only _allowed_ to do so."

In the corner of her eyes she recognises with accelerated heart-beat that Tommy's shoulders have slumped. Breathing deeply she puts the book onto the little table where her champagne stands. Suddenly the three words he has said earlier repeatedly hammer in her brain. "But I will do you the favour."

Tommy's eyes light up.

* * *

Apparently her silly brain is not aware of what it is making her tongue say but now that she has made the decision there is no turning back anymore. Isn't this what she had wished for at the office's Christmas party anyway? She slides a bit closer to her boss who obviously has stopped breathing. Barbara tries to read his expression. Is there joy in his eyes? Of course, there must be. He had just told her that he loves her so obviously a kiss is more than in order. Without diverting her eyes from his she coily takes Tommy's hand and feels a soft squeeze in return. They still simply look at each other so Trevor impatiently jumps from one foot to the other.

"Ah, now go on! Kiss him!"

With all the braveness she is able to muster Barbara bends over to Tommy. She has to stretch her back to get close to his face so the little plastic star in the pocket of her jeans pricks her leg and reminds her all the more that there is no way this won't happen. In that moment time stands still. Even Tommy is not moving a single muscle so she gets another bit closer and finally gives him a small tentative kiss. They have barely touched but it still has been powerful enough to send a shiver down her spine. Her lips are tingling with the sensation of the contact and she definitely wants more of that feeling so she gives him another featherlight kiss. Maybe he still is watching her but Barbara does not care at all now. Her eyes have closed automatically and she kepps her lips hovering above his where she could feel his warm breath, with a hint of whisky, continuing to flow across her face, sinking deep into her system.

When Trevor starts to howl in triumph the couple does not react. They continued to sit close for a few breaths. Then Tommy gently takes hold of her elbow and pulls her even closer to him. Their lips finally meet in a lasting kiss and neither one senses that Trevor still is watching when they start to softly nudge the other. Smiling their lips only partly touch and the tips of their tongues teasingly begin to play. They elicit small approving sounds and their arms move around each other in a proper embrace. Both could not care less about the boy behind the back of the settee. When their kiss deepens and becomes very passionate Trevor grimaces again.

"Ugh... gross!" he says and then runs away shouting. "Juuuudith! They're disgusting!"

When he comes past his grand aunt Daze who had put a hand over her happily beating heart he is completely irritated by her enchanted smile. Adults...

* * *

All this does not impress the couple on the settee. Only after a long while they breathlessly break apart. Tommy is grinning like a happy fool when Barbara carefully touches her lips with her fingertips, blushing deeply and giving him a nervously cautious smile. He pulls her into a gentle hug. Together they fall to the side, leaning against the backrest. Then he places a soft kiss on top of her hair. "Sorry for being disgusting." he whispers. It earns him a grunted laugh into his shirt so he knows in the end everything is fine with her.

"Sorry for ruining your shirt, Tommy." She snuffles and wipes her nose with the tissue she still has in her left hand.

"I couldn't care less." he nuzzles into her her hair. "You still owe me an answer. So?"

He has hoped for a gentle 'I love you too' but Barbara only nods against his chest and mumbles "Yes!"

"Hallelujah!" his mother's outbursting voice comes from the door so Tommy looks up in surprise. He sees his mother smiling fondly. "It sounds like I have to plan a wedding party."

Her son only rolls his eyes. Since Barbara has started to sit upright his attention turns back to her lips. This way she would be unable to object to his mother's forthright but brilliant idea.

Instead she cries out in pain. "Ouch!" she whimpers and Tommy jerks back. Barbara pulls a small piece of yellow plastic from the pocket of her jeans. It is broken.

"What's that?"

"My wishing star."

"Oh... It's broken..."

Barbara's face beams red. She looks at his full lips and involuntarily licks hers. She may have been just kissed by the man she loves but who says it could not be repeated. "It already has fulfilled my wish." she croaks with a gesture of her chin towards him and happily obliges to Tommy pulling her into an even tighter embrace than before.

"You always should be careful what you wish for!" he tenderly growls. Any reply is caught up in the following passionate kiss.

* * *

 **.**

* * *

 **...**


	2. Christmas times are coming

**A/N:** Okay, let's go on with this. I hope everybody has settled into 2017 already and passed the festive days in peace, health and harmony! Here's the first part of the prequel.

* * *

 **.**

 **Christmas times are coming**

 **.**

* * *

 _Earlier, in the previous year..._

* * *

This year was a bloody pain in the ass. Several famous actors and singers had died, there was war and terror all over the world, elections had gone bad, or at least not very much to her liking, and everybody around her seemed to go crazy in general. In the second half of this year she almost had been demoted twice, once because she took over the responsibility for something she had not done which earned her at least the respect from her entire team but a notation in her personnel records, and once because she had not watched her harsh words in a very strained situation with a bunch of important higher ranks. Both definitely had cost her the chance to ever become DI, she guessed. Then in November her stupid landlord had escalated the rent of her flat two days after she had buried her mother and to top it all her boss had been in Newcastle since August. Apart from her mother's funeral where he unexpectedly had appeared she won't see DI Lynley again until some time late in January.

At the moment DS Barbara Havers and the rest of Lynley's team had to work with DI Burton. An oldschool Inspector, probably on the bottle, quite indolent and devolving the smallest task to the one whom he had chosen to be his right hand although he had not the slightest respect for women in the Service. No wonder he had the lowest solving rate. The team had already passed two cases on to DI Jackson. Of course Burton blamed her for being ineffective and whatever else. Their actual murder was a difficulty in itself with politics and the nastiest of entanglements. The lot among which they investigated was not at all Burton's and Barbara was sure that DI Lynley, the Earl of Asherton, would have a distinctively better access to those people. After all the mutilated body was found in a back garden in Belgravia.

Burton's chosen right hand, she called herself slave, chewed on her pencil and stared out of the window. The weather was exactly the same as her mood - grey, cold, drizzling. And Christmas was only three days away. Barbara hoped for a miracle that ended this case in a positive way but she will probably work for the rest of the year. At least she would not have to sit at home and fall asleep on her couch over some boring TV shows this way. Up to the roots of her hair she already saw herself drowning in work and the first Christmas without having to visit her Mum will fly by in no time. She would not even have time to think about where to move.

"Havers!" a voice barked. "In my office!"

With a deep sigh and thinking that it was not Burton's office at all but Lynley's Barbara heaved herself from her chair. DS Nkata's pitying eyes followed her.

* * *

Then he focussed on an e-mail Lynley had sent him. Their real boss had talked a bit about the police stuff he was doing in Newcastle and his accomodation there, and of course the weather, but from the first moment Winston saw the e-mail popping up he knew that Lynley only wanted to ask about Barbara. He was right.

'Don't tell her that I've asked,' the DI wrote, 'she presumably would bit my head off for this but she had sounded rather exhausted and taciturn in our latest mails. I'd very much appreciate it if you'd tell me if it's correct that _everything's fine except for a difficult case_.'

Lynley also had asked Winston to have a secret eye on her. The DC was amused. Of course he knew that they would stay in contact while Lynley was away and he guessed they would not only be writing e-mails but surely text messages on their mobiles as well. If not even make one or the other proper phone call. It did not seem too far away that Barbara, with the story of her two latest official reprimands in the back of her mind, would not tell Lynley what _really_ was going on here.

A pile of files suddenly thudded onto his desk to catch Winston's attention. There stood DI Burton in his coat and Barbara was just putting on hers. She looked tired.

"Go through them, Nkata. There are footages mentioned that might give us a hint. Check that. I'll drive to Belgravia with Havers. Expect us back in two hours. Have it done by then. Thank you."

Slave was the right term, Winston bitterly thought staring burning holes into the back of the leaving DI. Sympathetic smiles were exchanged between Barbara and Winnie and he decided to tell Lynley the truth. Even before he would take a look at the files.

* * *

He did not even tried to hide his anger about Burton and his way of working. Winston also asked Lynley to keep this e-mail a secret. Although he guessed that Barbara had told him a few things already, Winston got detailed. He told him about Barbara's true but stupidly misplaced and not the slightest diplomatic comments about racism and misogyny in the Met in front of AC Hillier and others. He mentioned Burton as one of the worst concerning that matter and how bad almost all their cases went. Already knowing that Lynley had come down to London for one day to attend the funeral he also mentioned anyway that Mrs Havers had passed away and that shortly after the burial Barbara's landlord had increased the rate for her flat so much that Barbara thinks about moving to some cheaper areas of London.

At great length he spoke about her heroic intervention when their newest colleague, probationary DC Stevens, a young and inexperienced but auspiciously competent officer, had a bad mishap with a suspect and Barbara had constructed a tale around that which made herself the mug who had let the suspect go home and disappear for quite some time. DC Stevens never would have done what he had if not Burton would have been at his heels with even more tasks with which the poor young fella had not yet any experience. Stevens would have been sacked immediately but Barbara had gotten just a note in her files after she had been interviewed. Which was bad enough and maybe even obstruct her chances to ever become a DI. Additionally to all those things, Winston wrote Lynley, they were up to their ears in inefficient work and lately Barbara had started to show signs of a mental breakdown.

'She's got bags under her eyes, looks as if she's got headaches and fatigue everyday, and endlessly stares out of the window, but we all know she would never say a word.' Winston wrote. 'And she will be on duty over Christmas and up until the 29th of December. Believe me when I tell you she's quite sick of all the Christmas tootling and the festivity plans everybody around here is talking about.'

If Barbara will ever learn about this exchange, Winston knew, she will never ever speak with them again. At least not with him. Of course after a while she would with Lynley. It was obvious why. If they both only would recognise it. Sometimes Winston just wanted to bang their heads together.

* * *

 **.**

* * *

 **...**


	3. Christmas

**.**

 **Christmas**

 **.**

* * *

Some higher force had mercy. The secretary of the vicar, whose housekeeper's daughter had been found raped and dead, had confessed on the 23rd of December so the team quickly had arranged a bit more for their minimalistic party on Christmas Eve at the office. Everybody had come to work in their best ridiculous jumpers and they had hot chocolate and spiced cookies and ginger bread during the day of the final paperworks. When it was clear they would not have to get in touch with the public or any witnesses anymore they one by one started to wear the colourful paper crowns Winston had brought. One computer served as the diskjockey's place later and the only thing they had not was alcohol. Funny enough but Burton had prohibited that. Nonetheless everybody chatted in a festive mood. Even Barbara was so lighthearted like she was not for weeks. She blamed the painkillers she had taken throughout the day. She already had woken up with a headache this morning.

DI Lynley had left behind his obligatory bottle of something for everyone and Paul Perkins, the night shift desk officer, had brought them in the evening with a false beard around his chin and a loud "Hohoho!" on his lips. Eventually DI Burton had the grace to go home, probably to leave the rest of the work to his team and get himself some real drinks, so Charlie took advantage and opened his bottle of good rum to pimp their hot chocolates. Then Winston conjured up some Christmas crackers from the depth of his desk and turned up the music.

* * *

Under loud cheers everybody had to read out loud the little jokes and notes and wise words inside and of course Barbara was no exception either when it was her turn to pull. A little yellow plastic comet flew out of her cracker and she read:

"Make a wish - it will come true!"

"She's the lucky one!" Winston shouted amused, teasing her by pinching her upper arm. "Barb, wish for the jackpot!"

Barbara did not really hear him. In an instant she had been far away with her thoughts. She absolutely did not have to think about a wish at all. For a couple of years she only had one thought when she saw a wishing star falling through the nightly skies. She knew it will never come true but she could not help it. But then the word 'jackpot' had finally reached her brain so she inhaled to give a reply when Winston cut her off.

"Sh-sh-sh!" he excitedly kept her from talking. "You shouldn't tell anybody!"

Fortunately the next Christmas cracker was broken with all cheering and laughing and Barbara had some private time to dwell on her thoughts. Outwardly pretending to enjoy the jolly party but deep inside thinking about sitting on a soft settee in front of a cosy fireplace and cuddling with someone unreachable she sipped at her cocoa. Suddenly Winston stood next to her. Another good shot of rum was poured into her almost empty mug and he put an arm around her shoulder when he toasted.

"To you!" he quietly said. He showed an almost serious expression when he went on. "I know what you've wished for, Barbara-darling, and I know it will come true one day. You just have to believe it! And, for heaven's sake, work on it." He left a friendly smacker on her temple but before Barbara was able to voice her protest Nkata was whisked away by the three new constables who obviously already had had too much of their vodka.

Her boss hadn't left her mind for the rest of the evening.

* * *

Some higher forces had not been so nice to spare her from the on call duty she would have until the 29th.

She had gone home on Christmas Eve slightly tipsy like all her other colleagues and on Christmas morning she sat at her breakfast table eating cookies and having a strong coffee. She opened the small present she got from Winston - a squeaky bulldog that conjured a smile on her face. Then she stared out of the window hoping it would become the 1st of January right now. When she finally ripped her eyes from the water running down the pane to get started with the yearly deep cleaning of her flat her mobile buzzed.

"Bloody!" she cursed and answered without checking the caller ID. She had not expected to be called in so soon. "Havers!"

"Barbara!" a familiar voice rejoiced. It made her give a sigh of relief. This was no call for arms. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas, Sir!" Barbara curled up on her sofa. She had not heard him for far too long. Their latest call had been about a fortnight ago. Her dark mood was washed away in an instant. "How's it going?"

"Mh, it's like a beehive here. I'm at Howenstow already and I think this year mother has invited even the farthest family members to drop by. How are you? Have you opened your presents yet?"

"Sir..." Barbara went silent. "You know I'm not..." How could she tell him that she never gets any other presents than those exchanged in the office. How could she tell her boss that she was disappointed that he obviously had forgotten his Sergeant this year and did not give her something too. Not the public bottle of something but that small personal thing he used to give her in his office in private. Ah, well, this year simply was completely shitty.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Lynley seemed to understand what her dilemma was. "I didn't mean to... I hope you at least enjoy your festive breakfast! When I've told Judith about your habit-"

"No." she cut him short, not unfriendly but certainly signalising she would not want to be reminded. "I've had no time to prepare it this year, Sir. It's just the odd mug of coffee and some cookies. But never mind, I'm fine."

He knew she was not but he did not find the right words to tell her. Not to mention his inability to ask what's really going on. "We'll make good for it when I'm back in London, Barbara. I'm going to cook for you. You'll see, I'm quite skilled." Since she did not answer he just went on. "You'll give me the recipe and I'll be buying all the stuff and then I'm going you ruin your kitchen. Never mind, I'll pay for the renovation."

After a few moments he had become so ridiculous with his foresight of a breakfast with his Sergeant Lynley achieved to elicit a snorted laugh from Barbara.

"Better?" he softly asked. Barbara sneezed. "Bless you!"

"Yes. Thank you, Sir."

They kept on talking about anything in particular for a while. She told him about her on call duty until the 29th and then Lynley started to hem and haw.

"What, Sir? Just say it."

"Could you do me a favour, Barbara?"

"It depends, Sir."

"It's... umm... not quite illegal, but... err... not too legal either... it's... hmm..."

"Sir!" Barbara became impatient.

Lynley breathed deeply.

"Could you go to the office today and look something for me? Just a small personal research in the HOLMES system."

Barbara was relieved when she heard whom she had to look up for. No woman. Not that she would have become jealous but checking on the new estate manager would be an easy task.

Jealous? Barbara Havers? No way.

* * *

Instead of going to the office immediately Barbara stayed at home for at least two more hours. Her headache of which she thought would be a light hangover had not gone at all although she had taken two more painkillers. Her complete face ached and she felt all but able to work like that. She received three text messages from her boss. He did not mention the HOLMES research but he usually would not have sent her so many updates of what he was doing at his manor if he would not be trying to remember her of his request. When Barbara got into her car to finally get to New Scotland Yard she received a fourth message. This time he was clear.

'When will you go to the office? :-)'

'Right now.'

She imagined her boss going up and down and walking a mould into the carpet in his study at Howenstow. It made her laugh.

She could not know how close she was to the truth. His mother had secretly watched him becoming more nervous with every second that went by. It all had started this very morning when the family had opened their presents in the grand hall where a fire had been lit and the Christmas tree was in full beauty. He had started being absentminded. Then after the call with Barbara which was a nice sight on its own he had not stopped fidgeting with something or walking around aimlessly.

* * *

There was extraordinarily little traffic on the streets, even for a Christmas day, so Barbara got to the office quite fast. At the entrance she had a coffee and a chat with the desk officer before she went up. In the lift she even checked her mobile if Lynley had sent another impatient text message she might have missed but there was none. When she approached the glass door to their office she saw the faint lights of something still on in there. Winston probably had forgotten to turn off the coloured lights of the silly little snowed Christmas tree on his desk. Only when she entered the room Barbara saw that the lights were coming from her own desk. Her mobile beeped.

'Are you there?'

Cautiously going further into the office she answered. 'Just arrived'

Barbara almost cried when she saw her desk. On it there was a small plastic christmas tree with tiny bulbs in red and blue and with white electric lights. Together with a pack of chocolates and an envelope three small presents, neatly wrapped in Dr Who paper, laid underneath it. A folded note was in the middle of her desk.

* * *

 _Merry Christmas, Barbara!_  
 _Please excuse my false pretence that had brought you here and forgive my presumptuousness but as hard as I've racked my brain I didn't find a different way to really surprise you. Paul had been so kind to help me. I know he had arranged the things nicely. Enjoy unpacking and please call me._  
 _Yours, Tommy_

* * *

For a moment Barbara was angry that he had made her get up and out of her home and to the office but then the sweetness of his slightly clumsy surprise sunk in and the brimming tears finally started to roll down her cheeks. She did not yet open the presents though. She absolutely had no idea what it could be so she prefered being in private in case she would break out in more tears. And she really was in need of a relaxing hot shower. The short drive here had exhausted her more than it should have.

'I'll call you later' she texted before she took her presents and shut off the electric lights. How could she know that with that text message she had put her boss into an even deeper misery than before.

Back at home Barbara sat down on her couch before she opened the presents. There was a woollen hat and gloves and a woollen scarf of the same deep dark green colour with the same light grey stripe, woollen socks, a thick book she assumed to never get read in her life, if she starts reading it at all, that is, and another squeaky toy in the form of a fat nurse holding a handmade voucher for a series of massages in a spa she would choose by herself. In the envelope was a train ticket to Nanrunnel valid for five days from the 29th on.

Barbara sniffled. Tommy Lynley could be so cute sometimes but of course she would not go. She would not want to disturb his family days and she definitely would not want to attend their New Year's Eve party. After making a tea she cuddled back into the cushions and hit his speed dial number.

* * *

"Lynley." From the anticipation in his voice she knew he knew who was calling. Of course he knew. He always checked.

"Thank you, Sir, you've touched me."

"I'm happy to hear that." Tommy's smile was audible. "Are you home again?"

"M-hm."

"I thought as much. Can you forgive me that I've forced you to the office? I've planned this surprise earlier when I haven't known you would be so busy the previous days. But I really wanted you to have it today and not sometime next year."

"It's okay, Sir. At least it forced me out of my pyjamas." They shared a laugh. "But seriously, Sir - woollen socks?!"

Lynley smiled. "I once have heard you complain about getting cold feet in winter and that nobody knows nowadays how to knit the perfect socks."

"Mh, yes, I vaguely remember." Barbara grinned. It was so sweet that her boss had it still on is mind.

"Well, my aunt Edith does know and she sends you all her love. You still know her? She was the sporty woman who never ceased to comment on my-"

"I know, Sir." Barbara answered. She did not want him to mention that function she had attended too only to please her boss. His aunt Edith had been a bit tipsy and later in the evening had told Barbara things she would rather not have learned.

Then Tommy heard Barbara sniffling. "Do you have the sniffles?"

"Ah, it looks as if I'm getting a cold. Would just top it all. So thanks again for the winter things. They are lovely and come in rather handy."

"I had hoped so. And you know, it can be quite chilly at the Cornish coast in winter."

"What makes you assume I'd come to your family home? Not that I'd complain or would want to sound ungrateful, but that's irrational. I won't come and disturb you with your family there. Especially not at your New Year's Eve party. And by the way, why do you think I don't have other plans?" She had not.

"Because you've told me so, remember? You were ranting about your on call duty and missing out the only thing that you've planned for Christmas. Since your Christmas is quite a bit ruined I thought you might as well have something nice for New Year's Eve."

"Sir..."

"Really! You wouldn't disturb us here. Mother and Judith would love to see you and most of our guests won't stay until the 30th. Plus I think it would do you good to see people and I really would appreciate if you were here on New Year's Eve. We'll have a nice dinner with family and friends and-" Then she heard his voice becoming anxious. "Or do you have made other plans now that you had no time on Christmas? You know, the train ticket was a spur of the moment idea. I've asked Paul, you know, Paul Perkins, the night desk officer, to buy it and add it to your presents. It can be given back of course. You could-"

* * *

Against her own internal advise not to put her in danger by being around him at such emotional times and in such a wonderful setting in rural Cornwall Barbara cut him short. To be honest she really wanted nothing else but to be with him, with his family, there in the Cornish refuge, far away from London. "No, Sir, I think I'll come around. You're right, it will do me good. I may not be getting there this year but maybe a few days in early January doing nothing and being out of sight for the Service would be nice. Imagine - just because I am available at Christmas three colleagues have asked me to take over some parts of their shifts. As if I was a robot. I have declined of course. Everything. I'm already drained enough for this year."

She went on talking and rousing and laughing and telling him what else had happened during the previous days oblivious to the fondness in his voice when he let one or the other word drop in. On the other end of the line Tommy had cuddled into the settee in front of the fireplace in the grand hall of Howenstow. He had leaned back smiling, closing his eyes, just listening to her voice - oblivious for his mother and sister standing in the door watching him with a knowing grin.

Eventually Tommy got another chance to speak. He tried to talk Barbara into coming to Howenstow this year but unfortunately got nothing more than a vague answer. He would try it again in another call tomorrow.

On December the 25th Barbara went to bed, happy about the call with Lynley, happy that duty had not called her in on that day. But she was exhausted. Her whole body ached and she had slightly elevated temperature.

On Boxing Day Barbara woke up with a nasty cold.

* * *

 **.**

* * *

 **...**


	4. It's a sick year

**.**

 **It's a sick year  
**

 **.**

* * *

She had called in sick and had stayed in bed for two days. She did not answer his calls and just sent short, very short, text messages. Only on the 28th of December she finally felt in the mood to call Lynley.

"I'm not coming to Howenstow, Sir." Barbara croaked and let a heartbreaking sniffle follow.

"Oh..." He was disappointed and she could hear it. "Hm..."

For a couple of minutes she told him of her cold. She coughed, she sneezed, she had a runny nose and fever. Everything ached and she only longed for staying in bed the whole day for the rest of the year and longer. She would not want to spread her germs, she would not want to annoy his family with being sleepy and tired and edgy.

"And think of the train trip, Sir." Barbara said and sneezed. "It'd be half an hour to Paddington Station, then 6 to 7 hours to Porthleven and you know that's not exactly Nanrunnel. I'd be on the way for half a day. I-"

Tommy had calmly listened to all her objections and lamentations about the annoying illness. Now he had to interfere. Without a transition he started with something nice. "You could read that book on the way here, Barbara. Well, of course it really is a long travel but if maybe tomorrow or in two days you feel well enough to just sit in that soft first class chair and get carr-"

"First class?" Barbara coughed and searched for the ticket. She had it pinned against her fridge door.

"I hope Paul had bought first class like I've asked him to? If not, you-"

"It is, Sir. Are you crazy?" Barbara sniffled. It only partly came from her cold.

"No... I just wanted you to be here." A pause stretched its silence when Tommy realised what he had said and Barbara did not know how on earth he could have meant that. He harrumphed. "Well... Umm... I haven't seen you for quite some time and when I'll be back in London there will be work surrounding us. I just thought we could spend some nice and relaxing time here in Cornwall and a nice and relaxing travel is essential, on that you surely will agree. Especially when it's such a long way. And if you feel just a tad well enough for it you should come here. Mother will happily pamper you. Of course I will do that too. You're not disturbing anything here because only a few members of the family has stayed for joining New Year. And imagine soaking in the bathtub for hours. I mean a huge bathtub. You could watch TV. Or even sleep the whole time. Stay in bed and only come down to get fed three times a day if you wish." Barbara's laugh went down in a heavy cough before he went on telling her that she also could cuddle his cousin's new puppy dog or the horses. "It's cosy and warm in the stables. And you're not at all obliged to take part in anything you would not want to. Although we could have a few recuperative walks in fresh air. The Cornish sea air is very healthy. And surely I'd pick you up at Coverack station so you wouldn't have to take the bus that stops for every milk churn. What do you think? Doesn't this sound great to you?"

Barbara sniffled before she replied. "Yes, it does. But-"

"Please. I'd be delighted to see you. I don't want to have to accept a but..."

Barbara nasally groaned. She imagined him making his irresistible puppy eyed face that always gets her.

"It's only about one week, Barbara. And we'll get back by car. Maybe even stay for the night somewhere on the way if it'll still be too exhausting for you."

* * *

"You know you're a pest sometimes, don't you." That said image alone already got her.

Tommy decided to ignore her insult. "So it's a yes, isn't it?"

Barbara grinned hearing him so jubilant. "Yes." she said half gruffly, failing to sound angry with her nasal voice. But she knew he would be able to see her rolling eyes through the phone line. "Yes, it's a yes, of course. But only because you've promised me a nice long hot bath in the luxuriously huge tub in one of your thirteen bathrooms."

"Six."

"Huh?"

"It's only six bathrooms." Tommy told her. "And two of them are out of order because they're in the old part in the back of the house which is out of use for several years now."

Barbara coughed. "Have you ever listened to yourself, Sir?"

They kept on teasing and bantering for the rest of their call. Then Barbara had to pack a few things and started with her medicines and a huge box of tissues.

At first she had wanted to pay only a short visit in the new year. Now she just had called to tell him she would not come at all because of her cold. In the end she would get there even earlier than she originally had planned. And Barbara completely had forgotten to ask about the potential function on New Year's Eve.

* * *

Barbara had gone to bed early and got up early. In London a slight foggy drizzle filled the air but during the day on her trip to Cornwall the weather changed. The forecast had said something about low temperatures, which was warmer than the previous days, and a bit of heavy wind but the chance to get snow was highly unlikely and now the wind even was more than just a bit heavy. Looking out of the window she would rather call it a blizzard with all the snow that had started to fall. A wet blizzard and it turned heavier the more southward she got. She did not care too much though. In the train it was warm and her chair was cosy so she slept and dozed for most of the hours. With no costs for the ticket she indulged in spending money on lunch in the onboard cafeteria and she also tried to read a bit in her book. She could not really concentrate on the words so her eyes always drifted out of the window more often the closer she got to Nanrunnel.

It had been a crazy idea to drive to Cornwall. What the hell had she been thinking? Even with every bit of their friendship's weight it seemed odd to cross half of the country just for a few days. With such a heavy cold. Lynley had tried to reassure her that his family would welcome her there but what will they really think of her? And what will she actually do down there? She definitely would not spend her days with the horses, and probably not with Daze. Barbara dared not even call her by her name very often even though Lady Asherton had asked for it several times. She does not even call her son by his given name and he asked for it almost every day. She looked forward to seeing him. She missed him so much. Barbara sighed when she confessed it to herself. It all was so weird and confusing.

When she fell asleep once more she dreamed of going on a horseride on two ridiculously tiny ponies with his Lordship. Shortly before they kissed in a heavy thunderstorm, standing on a melting ice floe in the Cornish sea next to Howenstow which stood on the edge of a cliff with Daze looking out of a huge window wearing a grim expression, Barbara was woken by the speaker crackling. A bored voice announced that due to the sudden heavy snowfall and the stormy wind there were delays in the timetable. Connecting trains probably would be missed and sorry for the inconvenience.

Barbara sighed again. Arriving late in the night was the last thing she would want.

* * *

To get rid of the memories of her disturbing dream she opened the book again and read another few pages until the train came to a halt in the middle of nowhere. This was nothing unusual with the nasty weather and the delay, all the more if there maybe was a train ahead of them occupying the tracks, but after a while, when they still had not proceeded their journey, humming trepidation arose in the carriage. Twice a train attendant rushed down the aisle ignoring every cautious question before Barbara simply stood up and got in her way.

"Sorry, Miss. Could you please tell us why we're still standing here?" she asked with a firm but husky and nasal voice.

Most of the passengers nearby listened closely to the apologetic explanation. Due to the masses of wet and weighty snow several trees had fallen into the electricity cables and onto the rails further down the way. They had not yet made an announcement because they still did not know much or detailed but they probably will roll back a few miles where they had access to a road and busses would carry them to Porthleven.

Suppressing a loud and heartfelt curse Barbara sat back down and processed the newest information. Then she texted her boss that she would be late.

'Take your time :-) ' came the immediate reply.

'Haha. Trees on rails, bus transport to Porthleven will be organised. Duration unknown but probably eternity'

'We'll keep the stew on the fire. Looking forward to your arrival!'

Barbara smiled. Yes, she was looking forward too. And not just because she longed for a hot bath.

* * *

Unfortunately they needed another hour and it probably was fast as hell under those circumstances but still the busses were slower than the train so Barbara arrived in Porthleven about two and a half hours later than expected. It was already dark and all she wanted was to get the next bus that would take her to the stew Tommy had mentioned.

She had no such luck. At the coach terminal right next to the train station there only were a few drivers still sitting in the ticket office and they told her that they would go nowhere tonight except home. There was some black ice and a lot of muddy snow everywhere on the roads and the stormy wind did not look as if it was going to stop anytime soon. They suggested she should look for accomodation here in Porthleven.

Barbara almost started to cry. This had not been her year at all and it looks as if it cumulates on this very day. She sent another text message to inform Lynley she would not arrive today because of all the snow. She would look for accomodation in this picturesque little village.

'It's a nice place and I'll enjoy my holiday stay here. Will call u later'

* * *

 **.**

* * *

 **...**


	5. A hot bath

**.**

 **A hot bath**

 **.**

* * *

For many years she had cursed her backpack but now she was glad she had her belongings on her shoulders and would not have to carry or pull a suitcase through the thick muddy snow. Barbara trudged back to the pub she had seen near the station on the other side of the car-free street but unfortunately they had no vacancies. She tried two more places, a hostel which was closed and a private B&B, and still had no luck but before she would get back outside of the third place, an old and cosy pub with a huge fireplace, she finally had to warm her icecold feet so she ordered a pint and sat down at a table near the fire.

This horrible snow alone was more than annoying, so deep in her heart Barbara cursed the bloody Christmas season and the damned tourists congesting Cornwall!

Tears were brimming in her eyes and she secretly wiped them. This possibly was in fact the worst situation she could think of. A bit more than one hour already had passed here in Porthleven but she still did not know where she would stay for the night. Even the Travelers' Aid office was closed. Barbara wiped her eyes again when suddenly her mobile rang. She did not want to talk to anybody right now so she ignored it. It went silent only to ring again a few seconds later.

"Havers." she slowly answered. She was tired. She only wanted to drink that pint and sleep on that chair.

"Barbara! Where are you?" It was an excited Lynley. A silent sob shook her body. It felt good to hear his voice even if it was only at the phone. He probably was sitting at a cosy fire, dinner just finished, a whisky right next to him, a blanket on his knees. Barbara almost sobbed again. "Barbara?" His voice was anxious. She had not said a word yet.

"Ah, well... I'm at the pub, Sir. Warming up before I go out again. I still haven't-"

"Come back to the station."

"Sir?"

"Come back to Porthleven railway station. I'll pick you up."

"Sir, you don't have to." Her tiredness dripped through every word.

"Hmhm. I'm already there." Lynley simply hung up and Barbara stared at the disconnection sign on her mobile phone screen.

Then she started to finish her pint, first slowly, thinking, not believing what he had said, and very quickly near the end. If he really was there, and Barbara did not think he would lie to her, she had to get going.

Outside there were still no vehicles on the streets but in the distance, up the road, a lonely tractor with a snow plough stood in front of the main building of the station. When she approached it a tall man in a thick and visibly warm coat jumped out of it. She recognised the familiar figure and even though he walked rather strange on the slippery grounds she knew who he was. The wet traces that appeared on Barbara's cheeks was only melting snow of course.

* * *

 **...**

* * *

"I'm off to Kentrick. I'll be back later."

"Umm - what?" Daze looked up from her crossword puzzle but her son already had left the kitchen.

"Where's that idiot headin' to?" Peter entered after looking down the corridor towards the entrance door that just had been loudly closed from outside. "It's the most shitty weather you could think of."

"Actually I don't know." ignoring her younger son's unappreciated language Daze answered. "He just stood there at the worktop, reading his mobile and texting, smiling, disconnected from reality. Then he had frowned and suddenly stormed out of here. He just had said he'd be going to Kentrick and he'd be back later."

"What the hell is he up to? That's the farmer across Weepy Mould, isn't it?"

"Yes. I hope there's no incident with his flock but what should Tommy, of all persons, be doing there?"

Peter suddenly laughed. "Oh, blimey! Isn't his little Sergeantcom-"

"Barbara." Daze patiently rectified. "Her name is Barbara, Peter!"

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Yes, well, _Barbara_ is coming here, isn't she? And I just heard in the news that there's no way to get through with public transport or normal cars on our narrow streets anymore."

It dawned on her what Tommy was up to. "And?"

"Kentrick has that huge snow plough, hasn't he?" Now Peter's grin was more than smug.

"You mean...?"

"You bet!" Now even Daze had to smile at her son. "Well, since there's no ploughing tonight - they've got more than enough to do on the main roads - and no public transport either... huh? Well? That eager boy will plough his way through to his beloved Sergeant. Nothing will stop him, not even such a bit of snow. Not even black ice."

Daze returned her eyes to the crossword puzzle. Beloved Sergeant, Peter had said, and she knew there was so much truth in his words. If only Tommy would finally recognise his feelings too. And hopefully Kentrick and Tommy would be careful out there.

* * *

 **...**

* * *

When he finally had reached her Tommy pulled Barbara into a bear hug that almost made them both stumble backwards on the slippery grounds. Then he gave her a smacker on her her cheek. She blushed and he frowned. Her cheek was wet.

"Have you been crying?" he asked.

"No, of course not." Barbara gruffly answered. "It's just melting snow. Why are you here, Sir?"

"Someone had to pick you up and bring you home." He still had held her in his arms, looking down to her and smiling, making an expectant feeling rise in Barbara's stomach, but now abruptly turned them both towards the tractor. "I'll tell you more inside. There's a blanket waiting for you and some tea. You must be freezing in your sneakers!"

"Well, I had planned on having a relaxed trip down here. It's essential, you know?"

He smiled. At least she had not lost her morbid sense of humour. Inside the driver's cab it was cramped with three people and her huge backpack but it was distinctively warmer and there was no unnerving snow. As soon as Tommy and Barbara got in the farmer drove on.

"Have to get home before it gets worse." he murmured.

Tommy introduced Kentrick and Barbara and then he told her about his decision to pick her up. He knew how to get to the farm with his Landrover even under those circumstances and had called Kentrick on the way across the meadows to get ready to plough a way from there to Porthleven. "I owe him something."

"Oh, yeah." Kentrick nodded with a smug grin but neither of them defined it more precisely.

"And then we got here. It was not so difficult as expected but the public plough batallion sure has to take care of the bigger roads."

Barbara, her feet and legs wrapped in a blanket, carefully sipped at the hot and strong tea she had been offered then told Tommy about her travel, especially about the last adventurous parts. "I've unsuccessfully walked half of Porthleven and I'm completely cold." She sneezed as if to emphasise her words.

* * *

"I'll make sure you'll get warm when we're home. I don't want you to- Mum? Yes." Tommy had dialled his mother's number while he had spoken to Barbara. "M-hm. I've picked her up and we're heading home now. Will take us about another thirty minutes. We've already ploughed this way when we got to Porthleven so the drive home will be easier. Umm, could you do me a favour?" He blessed Barbara with one of his conspiratorially winking smiles. "Would you be so kind and fill the tub for when we get home? It's freaking cold so a hot bath is what we all need now. Oh, and will you _please_ finally get that stupid heating repaired? ... In your rotten Landrover of course... Yes... Yes... I'll ask him. Thank you."

He grinned triumphantly after he had disconnected. Barbara quietly thanked him. "You really shouldn't have bothered, Sir."

"Bollocks, Barbara! You need something hot." Tommy squeezed her shoulders.

Kentrick could not suppress the naughty grin that had appeared on his face.

"How did you get through this shitty wet mud?" Barbara sleepily asked Tommy. She snuffled not caring what they will think of her manners.

"Partly we took some farm roads but this wonderful thing here has spikes on its tyres." Tommy explained. "The streets are rather slippery today."

"It's a crazy weather phenomenon." Barbara mumbled and while her boss lectured about how the black ice, the wind and the wet snow could have happened all at once she did not really listen.

The grin on Kentrick's face grew wider when he saw the woman dozing off in his Lordship's arm.

* * *

 **...**

* * *

Daze stared at the silent phone in amazed disbelief when her daughter came into the kitchen to get something to drink. She did not react to her appearance.

"Ma?" Judith asked concerned. "Everything okay?"

Daze looked up with a still confused look on her face. "He's called me Mum..."

Patting her mother's shoulder Judith laughed. "I guess he's happy that she's finally here." Earlier Peter had told her about where their brother had dashed off to.

"And he's asked me to fill the tub..." Her mother still sounded surprised. Judith's loud laugh turned into a juicy grin.

"For himself or for her? Or for both?" she snorfled with a naughty undertone.

The question made Daze laugh too before she smiled mischievously. "Well, actually he had said, and I quote him here, 'a hot bath is what we all need now!' "

"Ah, then let me take over that task for you. I'll go and fill the tub in his new ensuite bathroom. If he grumbles, I'll say, what you've told me: Tommy's asked to fill the tub."

"Not now. They'll need about half an hour." Daze began and stopped. Her daughter's words hit her. "Judith! You're a devil, you can't possibly do that."

Judith laughed again and turned to leave. "Oh, believe me, I can!" Through the open kitchen door she heard her mother calling after her that she should not dare do that, for heaven's sake. "Oh, Ma! Of course I won't! I can't do this to Barbara!" Quieter and more to herself she added "Although it actually would hustle things on a bit..."

* * *

 **.**

* * *

 **...**

* * *

 **A/N:** The next part will need another while. I'm glad you enjoyed this so far.


	6. Occupied

**A/N:** So much to do, so little time. Here's just a bit I've finished, for you to read at the weekend. Enjoy... **  
**

* * *

 **.**

 **Occupied**

 **.**

* * *

When it was about the time that Tommy and Barbara were expected to arrive at Howenstow Judith went and filled the tubs with hot water so they could have the promised bath. She still was tempted to fill only one tub but in fact that surely would only embarrass Barbara so she decided on Tommy's own ensuite for him and one of the family baths for her. The other family bath already was occupied by Aunt Davinia who had just come home from a long ride way past Nanrunnel where the intense snow and wind sort of had surprised her (she always seemed to forget and ignore everything else when she was horseriding) so when she had come back all she had wanted was a proper shower. A few minutes later the snow plough arrived in front of the house and after Kentrick promised to look after the heating of the Landrover and bring it back the other day Barbara and Tommy hurried inside. The wind had not lessened much but it was slightly getting warmer so the falling snow had turned into a raining slush. Tommy carried her heavy backpack.

"Come in, come in, don't get wet!" Daze bid them into the entrance hall. "Hello Barbara! It's so nice to see you! Welcome!"

"Thanks for letting me escape the world for a while!" Barbara politely replied with her husky voice.

They just had entered the house and were welcomed by Daze with a warm hug when suddenly the door sprang open again and a young boy came rushing in excitedly shouting about that gorgeous machine out there. A 16-year old boy followed trying to keep up his coolness but everybody could see he was as excited as his younger brother. Both and the dog that trotted in behind them looked as if they all had been rolling around in a pool of mud. Which they probably had done.

"Hello boys!" Tommy greeted them, briefly introduced Barbara to his nephews Trevor and Glenn, the sons of his cousin Catarina, and then addressed the smaller of the boys. "And you, little man, need a bath before you go to bed!"

He was rewarded with an indignant murmur but the pleading look towards Daze, Trevor's grand aunt, only was answered by a firm "Off you go, Trev!". When Tommy's nephews had left to the stairs Daze said that the adults should take a hot bath too. "You're visibly freezing, Barbara, and your coughs sound horrible. Just go upstairs and postpone unpacking. Judith had filled one for you already and the temperature now probably is exactly how it should be."

* * *

Barbara was too tired to really object and indeed she still was freezing so she gladly took the offer. Sniffling she thanked Daze. Tommy led her upstairs and just quickly put her backpack into her room so he could show her which bathroom was meant for her. In the corridor they saw Judith coming from his own bedroom, waving a hello and starting to say something but then she stopped. A loud splashing and laughter came through the closed door of the particular bathroom Tommy had been about to show Barbara.

"Oh, no! Trev? Are you in there? You stupid thing! This was not your bath!" Judith cried out when the laughter from inside only grew louder. "Oh, sorry, Barbara. Welcome at Howenstow, home of the lunatics. Nice to see you!" She hugged her brother's colleague warmly. They always got along well with each other.

"Hi Judith!" Barbara smiled and cleared her throat. "Nice to see you!"

"Oh, you sound bad! And I've already heard of your horrible trip so I've filled the tubs for you. Just wait a minute, I'll prep- oh, crap! Davinia is in the other bathroom. Tommy, I think it's high time to renovate the old parts of the house if mother keeps inviting everyb-"

"Ah, bollocks! Do I understand that you've also prepared a bath for me?" Tommy asked his sister.

"Exactly." Judith nodded and blushed a bit, secretly wondering if this yet still was going in the direction she had pictured earlier.

"See?" Tommy turned back to his guest. "You just use mine, Barbara. I don't need that hot bath as much as you do."

"No need, Sir, I can wait. I could unpack."

"Barbara, you're still freezing. You've not recovered during the ride here. Your feet must be ice cubes by now. I insist on you taking that bath now."

"Seriously, Sir, I can't actual-" Barbara weakly started to object. Her voice was thin and she sounded nasal but she knew his bathroom was only his and she could not just walk through his bedroom and simply get into his own personal tub. In his own ensuite bathroom. This was a bit too personal, wasn't it? But obviously her boss had no problem with it.

"Seriously!" Tommy ushered her inside the master bedroom with a firm "Of course you can!". In fact he gently pushed her through the door of his bedroom before he had spent a single thought about it. Judith just hesitated for a brief moment but then simply turned and quickly left them without any further comments. She almost choked at her suppressed laugh and there was something she urgently had to tell her mother. One way or the other, this was going to become an interesting time having her brother and Barbara here on the estate.

* * *

"Sir! I will need at least a few things from my backpack." Barbara stopped Tommy's enthusiasm straight after getting inside his bedroom. She turned and found herself standing really close to him. In his room with his scent surrounding her completely she realised she just wanted to snuggle into his arms like she had in the tractor on the way here and get rubbed warm by his hands on her back but this moment of longing only lasted for a fragment of a second before her sniffle destroyed the tiny bud of romantic feelings. She had to be careful with her thoughts if this should be a relaxing stay in Cornwall. Barbara blushed and looked to the ground although she made no step backwards, away from this man, away from the emotional danger.

"Oh, yes, of course, sorry." Tommy also blushed. He had hesitated as well and did not really understand why. When Barbara had turned he suddenly had wanted to pull her into his arms and silence her with a kiss. This was new to him. He had never thought of kissing her, at least not in a real situation like this. He only had imagined it sometimes secretly at home, and admittedly more often recently, but he knew Barbara never would approve of it. Realising he was still staring at her he abruptly turned. "But promise you will come back here and take that bath! I swear I won't bother you in there. I won't even come into my room. I'll be downstairs. Stirring the stew. Just take all the time you need and relax."

* * *

"Sir?"

"Hm?"

Barbara had followed him on the way to her room. Tommy stopped only in a safe distance before he turned.

"Not that I'd complain about the bath, well, at least not really, but shouldn't I say hello to your family first?" She chewed on her lower lip and raised her eyebrows. "I feel... rude somehow."

Tommy smiled. "Don't be concerned. You need that bath right now and when you're warmed up and relaxed just come down to the kitchen. You'll see them soon enough and one by one when they drop by eventually. This crazy family and even our guests usually are spread all over the estate being busy on their own most of the time. It's past dinner anyway. And now hurry before the water is cooled down to the temperature of your feet!"

* * *

"Sir?"

He already had taken one of the steps down but now turned back to Barbara again. "Hm?"

She gave him a shy but grateful smile. "Thank you."

"You're always welcome, Barbara." His ears had turned red but she did not notice because she aleready had disappeared into her room.

* * *

 **.**

* * *

 **...**


	7. Medicine

**.**

 **Medicine**

 **.**

* * *

Barbara fetched some fresh clothes and her washbag from the backpack and almost tiptoed across the corridor to Tommy's room, alert that nobody would be seeing her going in. The door still was open so she simply entered. Quickly she closed it behind her and looked around. In her thoughts she already had thought about his bedroom but it was nothing like it at all. There was no old four-poster bed and no horse paintings on green walls. If the ceiling would not be so high and if there were no stucco decorations and transom windows with ornate handles one could think this room was in a modern town house.

The furniture in a light colour had clear rectangle edges. The modern bed was huge and with just a plain headboard and low nightstands attached to either side. In one corner there were a narrow metal lounger with a long thin black leather cushion and a cube-shaped armchair next to a small round table that seemed to be completely made of glass. Barbara knew both chairs must have cost a fortune because she once had seen them in an article about furniture designers. The walls were all but dark and painted in light colours and the only thing that reminded her of being in his age-old estate was the mahogany desk with a chair with dark red upholstery. There was not much on it though. Under a turned off modern desk lamp there was just a dark green desk pad, a pencil holder that looked as if it was from the sixties, a book and a cuddly polar bear.

Barbara laughed. Somehow this stuffed toy lying there was heartwarming. Even though it may seem to appear nosy she knew she had to ask him later about it but when an image of Tommy sitting there feeding a baby in the middle of the night sprang to her mind she shook her head and forced her curious attention to the framed pictures on the desk. There was his wedding photo of course, and one of his parents, also one with him and his siblings in younger days was there and him at his swearing-in ceremony in his uniform. He looked so young and very dashing, even sexy, Barbara admitted to herself.

But then she almost stopped breathing. There was a picture of herself with him. They were shot from behind while they were standing at a railing of a harbour basin, watching out to the sea into the afternoon sun, the wind visibly ruffling their hair. He was leaning over to her and obviously was telling her something. His face with a fond smile was partly visible but hers looked completely in the other direction.

Barbara remembered that day very well. In their back there was a crime scene and if the picture would show more of the concrete at their feet there would be a big pool of blood. When she had seen the corpse of the poor young boy on that day she had almost started to cry or throw-up and needed a lot of fresh air to calm her nerves so she had walked over two steps to the railing. Her boss had followed and after a few moments of silence had distracted her with a sweet story about himself as a boy and a fisherman in Nanrunnel.

Barbara suspected that one of the SOCOs had made it but Tommy never had told her of its existence. The looks he gave her in that picture stunned her. She never knew how much affection there was. Maybe she should start and look in his eyes more often, she thought, but suddenly felt as if she was invading his personal space - which she was in fact. The scent of his room was overwhelmingly wonderful. A bit of furniture polish, a bit of his aftershave, and so very much from the personal scent she always caught glimpses of when she enjoyed one of their rare physical closenesses like on that day in the picture. It suddenly felt so private here in his rooms that before she entered his bathroom she even almost knocked at the door.

* * *

Daze had been right. The water was exactly heated to contribute to her comfort. Barbara just added some of the good smelling salts that stood in small jars on its rim and slid into the tub. Before, she had walked into the bathroom without really looking around. She still felt like an intruder but when the water surrounded her she closed her eyes and only relaxed. She almost dozed off. She remembered how it felt being snuggled into Lynley's side in the small cabin of the snow plough with his arm around her shoulders but then slowly the image morphed into him cuddling with her on a sofa in front of a crackling fire.

"Stop it!" Barbara whispered to herself and shook her head to get rid of her vivid imagination. In the distance she could hear Trevor having fun in what had been supposed to be her bath and silently thanked him for giving her the opportunity to feel surrounded by Tommy although it was slightly disturbing but she could not help it and it was surprisingly soothing anyway. Only when she started to imagine him again, this time standing behind her and giving her back a gentle rub here in the bathroom, she quickly opened her eyes and stopped massaging her nape. This was far too dangerous.

Despite being the intruder Barbara still could not suppress her curiosity so she dared to finally look around and soak up her surroundings. There was this luxuriously huge tub that looked as if the first Earl already had bathed in it, probably with all his mistresses at once. It stood at the opposite side to the door and was able to host at least two people. On the left side of the room, separated from the toilet right next to it by a slate plastered wall, was a large modern ground-levelled shower cubicle with dark slate tiles and no door but just a glass wall to the front. Even here two people could easily use it at the same time. On the right side which Barbara was looking at was a combination of different sized cabinets with square doors and drawers. The rectangular sink had no board and the silver crane seemed to morph out of the mirror that was covering almost the entire wall.

When somebody showered they would be able to watch themselves.

Barbara sighed and the heat that crept up her face did not really come from the water. His stuff standing on the lower cabinet distracted her only briefly from the indecent thoughts that flashed through her mind. She was too tired to fight against them properly and decided that she probably should not be here at all. How would she be able to relax and get better with the admired man ever-present? Looking at his shaving gear in silver, probably real silver, she imagined him with foam in his face and without a shirt on. Looking at his soap she imagined him washing his upper body. Looking at his deodorant she imagined him lifting his arm and letting his naked muscles play. The sight of his aftershave flask intensified the scent that already lingered in the air and even his hair-care products triggered the memory of his hands raking through his short dark locks. Even seeing the laundry bin with a shirt carelessly thrown on it made her think about Tommy taking it off.

* * *

After a deep breath Barbara dived under water completely and annoyed by herself she made splashing bubbles before she surfaced again. If she stayed one minute longer in this wonderfully relaxing bath she probably would put herself deep in trouble so she pulled the plug, then climbed out of the tub and dried herself. She was here to get better. She was his friend and nothing more. Whatever else she was seeing was only in her ridiculous mind. She probably even was interpreting too much into her own feelings. She groaned, annoyed by herself, but after putting on her clothes and winding a towel around her wet hair she threw these latest resolution to ignore her silly mind over board and finally could not resist sniffing at the collar of his shirt. She blushed even though she was of course alone and nobody witnessed it.

"What am I doing here?" she quietly asked her reflection. Then Barbara sneezed. It reminded her that she was here to get better and that it was high time to have something to eat and then go to bed.

* * *

In the moment Tommy had entered the kitchen he had known he had disturbed some secret conversation between Daze and Judith. The two women had stopped talking immediately but kept a grinning face. Ignoring them with an angry glare Tommy turned on the cooker where the stew was standing on in its huge pot. While he set the kitchen table for two he recognised his mother making a clear gesture to his sister to leave the kitchen right now.

"Will you join us in the library later, Tommy?" she asked getting up from her chair.

He raked through his hair. "Well, I guess, Barbara will be going to bed early today. Maybe I'll drop by after dinner."

"Take care that it's not burning!"

* * *

Tommy only had started to stir the stew but his thoughts already were far away from the kitchen. He did not even hear the women eventually leaving. His mind had wandered up the stairs to his bathroom and the woman who was soaking in the tub at the moment. Wondering how she had felt when she had walked through his bedroom he had to smile. Of course she would have looked around before she climbed into the tub. She was a detective and nosy sometimes so she would have wanted to see how he lived. She never had been in his bedroom before. That he hoped she would like his furnishings confused him but thinking about the big mirror in his bathroom made him forget it quickly. An image of her reflection there came to his mind. A very naked image. Realising such feelings for his Sergeant was disturbing. Exciting, thrilling, soothing, but disturbing. She was his colleague and very good friend - how could he think of her that way? He had never thought of her that way. Well, not very often at least.

Completely absentminded he stirred in the pot thinking about Barbara in the tub. How on earth will her stay here be for him when he already was unable to keep his mind on a decent path minutes after she had arrived? What the hell - if anything - had he thought when he had invited her? He had been missing her, he knew that, but he had not known that he would be so extremely happy when she was there, that he had missed her that much. And it was not just because he had images of her in the tub popping up in his head.

* * *

"A penny for your smutty thoughts, my brother!" Peter's voice close to his slightly heated ears made Tommy jerk and lose the ladle.

"Ah, get lost, Peter!" He inhaled to grumble on but in that moment Barbara came scuffling into the kitchen. His face lit up in an instant. Turning to Barbara he did not see Peter rolling his eyes but only briefly wondered about the quizzical look Barbara gave his brother. "Oh, you've found them. You'll see, they're quite handy in this cold floored house." Tommy had placed a pair of felt slippers in the doorway to his bedroom.

"Hello Peter!" Barbara said.

"Hiya!" They shook hands. "I'll leave you to yourselves then. See ya later!"

With a naughty grin Peter left the kitchen. While Barbara sat down Tommy served and they just had started eating when Trevor came howling into the kitchen. "Dooorothy! I want my-" He was in his pyjamas and a bathrobe, a ridiculous red fur hat with little jungling bells on his head. He abruptly stopped in the doorway and watched the adults eating. Barbara winked at him which encouraged him to ask "Have you bathed too?"

She nodded. "Yes, and it was wonderful." Tommy's face lit up when she gave him a thankful smile.

"I know that because you wear that towel around your head." the little one explained. "Has your Mummy also told you to cover your wet hair?

Barbara only was abe to nod before Trevor continued to natter, coming closer to the table. He said that Glen did not do it and probably will get a bad cold some day like Barbara had at the moment and if she had been running around with wet hair lately. Without waiting for an answer he told her that his parents were at St Ives for two nights but will be back for New Year's Eve. He only stopped talking about horses, the dog, the snow plough and anything else when Daze finally came to their rescue. She had to put the little chatterbox to bed. He had a different opinion on that of course so he tried to keep up the conversation. "Will you be here tomorrow?"

Barbara smiled but being tired like she was Tommy was quicker with an answer. "Yes, she will. But she's here to cure her cold and you won't pester her continuously, understood?"

"Yes, Sir." Trevor answered and sent a sticked out tongue to his uncle. "Good night."

"Good night, you devil." Tommy hugged the boy and tenderly patted his behind. Then he turned to Barbara. They had finished their bowls and she was just putting them into the sink. "Don't feel obliged to sit with the family, Barbara. You should go to bed too very soon."

"Yes, Sir." Barbara sticked her tongue out and her eyes twinkled mischieviously but unfortunately he did not hug her nor patted her behind. He only led her to the stairs and wished her a good night. If they were lovers, Barbara suddenly thought, he would bend down and kiss me. Tommy did nothing like that and she made no invitating move so they just watched each other with a smile for a slightly longer moment than usual before Barbara sniffed, turned and climbed the stairs.

It had been a long and exhausting day. Barbara went straight into bed and when she pulled up her covers she fell asleep in an instant. Hot baths, sleep, a wonderfully weird family, a caring Tommy - this will become a wonderful time at Howenstow.

* * *

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* * *

 **...**


	8. Sleeping In

**A/N:** And here's another bit more. Happy sunday everyone. Enjoy...

* * *

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 **Sleeping In**

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* * *

Sleep. Most of all sleep would cure her cold so on the other morning Barbara simply rolled over when she saw the alarm clock's time being before eight and outside of the windows darkness still ruled the land. After blowing her nose she pulled the warm duvet above her head again and enjoyed the opportunity to sleep in. Had he not said that she could sleep as long as she wants and stay in her room the entire day? Barbara would do just that.

Quite some time later, the sun was up for about an hour, his Lordship sneaked around in the corridors. After breakfast he was restless. He had heard a soft snoring from her room when he had gone downstairs and passed her door earlier. She audibly had been sleeping but now he wondered if she still was. Tommy had forced himself to stay at the breakfast table a little longer and read the papers, feigning interest in what had happened in the world although his thoughts were with his Sergeant. Eventually he got up and started to stroll around, doing little unimportant things here and there, always having an eye on the stairs but Barbara still did not come down. He went back into the kitchen only to pour himself a cup of tea and leave again, hearing his sister whispering something to his mother which he did not understand, then he heard them chuckling.

"Isn't he cute?" Judith had murmured so he would not hear her and both women grinned. "He should just knock and go in. She probably would let him, even into her bed, I guess!"

"Judith!" His mother's cry was heard even at the foot of the stairs where Tommy stood.

"What!" his sister loudly laughed. Shaking his head Tommy walked upstairs.

* * *

In the quiet corridor he put his ear against her door but could not hear anything now. For a while he stared at the wood of the door, raising his hand and thinking if he should knock or better not. He wanted her to be up and undertake something with him. On the other hand he wanted her to get rid of her coughs and what is better for the cure of a cold than sleeping in? When he had laid his hand onto the door for a while without knocking Tommy was ripped from his thoughts by a tiny voice mumbling right next to him. How on earth could Trevor, the little boisterous monster, sneak up at him like that?

"You shouldn't!" the boy whispered.

"Huh?" Tommy lowered his arm. He suddenly felt stupid.

"You shouldn't knock at her door." Trevor nudged his tiny fingers into Tommy's hand. "When Mommy's still asleep Daddy always says he'd never dare to wake her because all women are grumpy in the morning." Looking at the door he nodded as if to emphasise that it would be no difference with Barbara. The little boy did not know how right he was. Especially about the coffee, Tommy remembered. It made him conspiratorially grin and nod in response.

"You're right, little man, I shouldn't knock."

"Can we go to the veecles?" Trevor pulled his uncle towards the stairs. Unlike his uncle he was not so much interested in the sleeping woman behind the door so his mind was on something else already.

"Wait!" Tommy laughed. "I'm an old man, don't run. And let's look for Peter, he also loves the vehicles and knows a bit more than me about the engines."

* * *

Inside the bedroom Barbara woke up from the sound of voices in the corridor. Although she did not understand what they said she knew it was Trevor and Tommy. He was laughing his gorgeous boyish laughter and it made it unable for Barbara to get back to sleep. An inner voice told her she should get up and look for the man whose laughter made her heart go faster but another voice told her to just use the electric kettle, make herself some of the offered instant coffee and turn on the telly. The second voice in her head definitely was louder so with a mug of hot coffee she quickly returned to bed. At this time of year the TV program simply was wonderful. After the last fifteen minutes of _Die Hard_ she watched a Czech fairytale movie she knew by heart. From time to time the sick woman dozed off.

Eventually, she was awake in that moment, her mobile buzzed with a text message.

'Aren't you awake by now?' she read. 'Not hungry? No need for caffeine?'

Barbara laughed and dialed Tommy's number.

"Good morning!" His broad smile was audible when he greeted her. Barbara grinned in return.

"Weren't you the one suggesting I'd stay in bed if I want? Morning, Sir!"

A short groan told her she soon would hear him asking to call him by his given name and she supposed it would not be just once. Maybe she finally should give in and brace up. They were friends for so long, it wouldn't harm her, would it, and it obviously was important for him. He even once had said that deep inside it was a bit hurting that she still called him Sir.

"Yes, I've said that." Tommy admitted.

"And I want that." she laughed and tried to keep in her wandering mind that their conversation still was about staying in bed.

Tommy's laugh sounded a bit strained but he did not give away if something was bothering him. In fact he could not just tell her that he wanted her to be with him, could he. There was no real and no fake reason he could give her. He sighed. "Well, just as you wish, Barbara. Stay in bed as long as you want. If you want to be fed for lunch, we'll eat at about one. You'll know when it's ready, mother used to shout it through the hall when we were younger and she still does it to call in the family. And be assured, it's nothing formal."

* * *

It happened like he had pictured it. In the dining room Barbara was finally introduced to the rest of the guests. There were of course the two boys she already knew. Their parents, cousin Catarina and her Scottish husband Ian, were in St Ives at the moment, having some peaceful time without their devilish sons, Tommy told her which earned him a sulking sound from Trevor. Glenn only got a red face. He definitely knew what his parent's trip was about. Davinia, still or again in her riding gear, already sat at the table. She was the sister of Tommy's father and mother of Catarina, so she was the boys' granny. Barbara understood very quickly that despite that the old Lady was a bit strange; not really cold but definitely distant. Conservatively noble, Barbara would say. She probably would not become friends with Davinia. Sam on the other hand, or correctly Samuel, introduced as the younger brother of Daze, was quite the difference with his mumbled jokes and naughty grins. He obviously was half-deaf but that did not keep him from flirting with Barbara until Daze secretly kicked into his shin and shook her head with a sharp glare. Only Peter had witnessed it and almost choked at his bite. Natasha, his 'new but very serious girlfriend' like Tommy proudly had said about her, had to pat his back several times.

They were sitting on the left side to Tommy, which meant on the opposite side of where Barbara had taken place. She was not thinking about where it was appropriate. The chair was vacant and not too close to Davinia, so she simply sat down and after all it was next to her host, the one person she was closest to. She would have felt awkward if she would be sitting between Davinia and Sam or right next to Daze. With her coughs and her running nose, the nasal spray could not do very much against, it was embarrassing enough.

The young ones did not care at all but probably the rest of the noble family recognised she sat on the right side to his Lordship, the place that was meant for his wife or his mother. His Lordship's annihilatively glaring eyes though clearly indicated to Daze and Judith that they should better keep it to themselves and ignore it. And stop those chuckles. His dark, glaring eyes were a clear contrast to his smile and raised eyebrows silently asking in his typical manner "Seriously?!"

Tommy at least would try to ignore their rolling eyes and saucy grins.

* * *

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	9. A Nice Day

**.**

 **A Nice Day**

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* * *

Barbara was oblivious to the glares between Tommy and his family. She was too preoccupied with hiding her sniffles and coughs and blowing her nose unnoticed.

After lunch Tommy was able to stop Trevor from giving them company. Barbara and the boy secretly had patted and conspiratorially grinning fed the dog under the table so he had found a nice excuse to go on a walk with her and Pitty. Not that he really thought he would need one, but still he in fact did think he would need one. As if to cover up the situation of being alone with her. To his great delight Barbara agreed.

Wrapped in warm clothings they went past the stables and across the muddy meadow. The air was fresh but there was no real wind anymore that could blow through the cloth of her coat so it did not do further harm to her health. The temperature also was higher than it was yesterday and all the snow was slowly turning into slush and water. Although she first had feared they would not know about what to talk they did so continuously - about yesterday's weather, about the clouds, the warmth, the puddles, the dirty dog and the useful and cosy but ridiculous felt slippers. He asked her two times to call him by his name and loudly sighed when Barbara called him 'Sir' again after only once saying 'Tommy'. Tommy helped her across the two fences they had to climb. Unfortunately he had let go of her hand immediately after her feet touched the ground but he had put his arm around her shoulder and kept it there when they walked on until they came to a narrow gap in a hedge. She was disappointed when he did not return his arm there but put the dog on the leash and led the rest of the way two steps ahead of her.

They were out there for about an hour, all three got quite wet and their boots muddy and so Tommy had to wash poor Pitty afterwards.

While he was downstairs in the former servant's bathroom being busy with the dog Barbara had time to have a hot shower, change and fetch from her room what she had bought him as a Christmas gift. Usually she did not but this time she already had thought about it in spring when she saw that he might have a use for it and was reassured when she saw him at her mother's funeral. At the end of November she finally went to the shop.

She found Tommy in the lounge room. He was about to leave when Barbara came in. Peter and Natasha only briefly looked up from the TV screen and nodded.

* * *

"Merry Christmas." Barbara coyly smiled when she gave him the small present in red and brown striped paper. Suddenly she was not so sure anymore if this was right, if this present was the right thing and if giving him a present in general was the right thing to do but Tommy looked completely happy.

"Oh, something for me? Thank you." he said and immediately started to open the blue ribbon. It landed on the small table, quickly followed by the paper. "Well, thank you, Barbara, it's wonderful!"

Tommy had unwrapped a brown leather wallet. His thumb caressed the debossed _T_ on its front and he took a couple of breathes silently looking at it and thinking about Barbara refusing to constantly call him Tommy before he examined the wallet further.

"Well, Sir, your old one is rather... well, old. I've seen that it's almost disintegrated." For lack of a proper use Barbara shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans. She shrugged and sniffled.

"You're so right, Barbara. Oh, a fiver?"

"Of course, Sir."

Tommy looked up with a pleading look but before he was about to say something Barbara murmured a quiet "Tommy." while she diverted her eyes to the banknote that was in the wallet and showed a small smile. "It would be bad luck to give an empty wallet. I've also put a bent coin in it. It's from your birth year. So that's sort of triple luck for you."

Her crooked smile turned into surprised shock when her boss suddenly pulled her into a bear hug. "Thank you, Barbara." he whispered into her ear which sent goosepimples across her neck, and gave her a smacker on her cheek. Barbara felt as if the room suddenly was overheated but she could not see that Tommy's face was flushing like hers because she shot a quick glance at his younger brother to make sure they still were engrossed in what they saw on TV and did not take notice of what was happening behind them.

"I'll- oh, bloody..." Tommy's mobile rang. "Excuse me, I have to... Lynley!"

With his arm loosely around her shoulder Tommy still kept her a bit close to him while he talked into the phone. Being tired and with the urgent need to get out of this awkwardly pleasant situation Barbara took a step backwards. He still held her elbow in a soft grip and gave her a quizzical look, indicating she should not leave, but she made a sleeping gesture with her hands and head and smiled so he let her go.

* * *

Her afternoon nap was refreshing. After the walk, which, despite the better weather, still had been exhausting due to her cold, Barbara had slept for more than an hour and snuggled into the warm duvet for another bit after she woke. Then she grabbed her book and started a search for a nice place other than her bed. She was wearing comfortable warm clothes and even could have sit in the conservatory with all windows open without freezing. Although the conservatory was no real option at the moment because she would not want to disturb Peter and Natasha giggling and cuddling and obviously having some very sweet private time there right now. Nothing too indecent but with a sudden inexplicable flash of jealousy Barbara saw a dark haired head nuzzling into the crook of Natasha's neck so she quickly turned away her blushing face. She wandered on through the big house and realised she would not want to sit anywhere than close to her boss.

All the huge rooms and long corridors and different staircases could become a bit frightening if you were not really used to it. Not to mention the noble family around, the living and the dead on the old portraits in the halls. Barbara already had wandered past the grand hall with the unlit fire twice and knew she looked at George the second Earl of Asherton for the third time today when she met Daze.

"Hi Barbara, did you have a nice rest?" the elder lady asked and offered a biscuit from a plate on a tray with a glass of milk she obviously was bringing Trevor, wherever the boy had hidden now. "You want a cookie? I haven't found Trevor yet so he has to accept that he has to share them." Daze winked.

"It was fine, thank you." Barbara replied and took one. Then she made a pause. Daze looked at her as if she was asking herself where the guest was heading to. Suddenly Barbara felt she looked stupid and Daze sure already had seen her walking around with no clue. "I'm looking for T-" she started an explanation but had shocked herself with almost saying his name in front of his mother. She surely would not approve of it and it was still strange anyway. Barbara diverted her eyes to the ground and blushed.

Daze decided to ignore it. She knew for sure there was something going on between her son and his Sergeant but it was not yet open, it was not yet confirmed, and she truly believed they both had not yet commited it to each other although it only was a question of time and the right subtle pushes in that certain direction. Daze would try to give a few pushes. "Tommy? He's in the study."

She earned a confused look. Where the hell was the study? Barbara was glad that she at least knew of the library and the music room. Her irritation must have been obvious because Daze winked and explained where it was. "Down there, third door on the left. Enjoy it."

* * *

She softly knocked and Tommy instantly knew it was his Sergeant. "Come!"

"Hiya." Barbara smiled. Her detective eyes spotted the small comfortable sofa in one corner of the room and knew that was the place where she wanted to read her book. "Am I intruding?"

"Never!" His face was nothing but a bright smile.

"I thought I could sit here and not in bed and read a bit." Barbara explained and sat down on that sofa following Tommy's invitating gesture. "I can't lie down the whole day, can I? The fire in the grand hall isn't lit and I didn't want to sit with Judith in the kitchen or in the conservatory with Peter and Natasha. But you don't have to-"

"Just relax, Barbara, if you don't mind that I'm... well, since you want to read I can go on with those papers. It won't be long, I hope, and then we could-"

"No, no." Barbara interrupted him and pulled her feet under her legs. She blew her nose, then coughed. "It's okay. Go on with your work. I just want to sit and read my book. It's quite nice."

They shared a warm and understanding smile before Tommy forced his eyes back down to his desk again and Barbara continued to read where she had put the small piece of paper from her Christmas cracker she was using as a bookmark.

* * *

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* * *

 **...**


	10. You bet

**.**

 **You bet**

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* * *

For a long while they sat like this, the silence in the room only disturbed by paper rustling and Barbara's coughs and sniffles. Eventually a loud grumble was heard. Tommy's head went up.

"A bit hungry, are we?" He winked. Then he threw the ballpen across his papers, shut the laptop and suggested to get some dinner. "There's nothing planned for today so we are all free to plunder the fridge whenever we want."

"That'd be great." After carefully placing her bookmark between the pages Barbara closed the book with a thud.

Tommy pointed with his chin to the papers and got up from his chair, stretching his bones. "I'm done with this anyway."

"What is it?" Barbara asked and immediately blushed. "Oh, umm, I'm not wanting to appear nosy, I just-"

He only smiled broadly. "Dull paperwork on a wonderful topic. Forms and applications my dear mother left for me to deal with as the Lord of the estate. She was the one- Kitchen?" Her loud stomach had interrupted him again.

Barbara nodded and Tommy led the way before he went on. "Mother had rescued two horses from their doom on a rotten farm a few miles north of Nanrunnel. Being here for half a year now they have blossomed and have become healthy again. You'll like them, they're ridiculous. I've been tempted to call them Laurel and Hardy although they're actually Dotsy and Cormoran."

"You mean they're so ridiculous they would fit me?"

Barbara raised her eyebrows but her winking eyes told him she was not really mad about his insinuation so he joined her laugh. "Oh, you know what I mean. They're not normal horses, they're-"

"So you think I'm not normal? Sir?" She still grinned because she simply enjoyed pushing him deeper into his self-digged hole.

They entered the kitchen when Tommy mock-annoyed groaned. "You're all but normal but in a very wonderful special way, Barbara." he sincerely said but quickly turned away his softened face and dived his head into the open fridge. "And so are they. Dotsy is the tiniest Shettie girl I've ever seen, and Cormoran a huge shire horse stallion who is very, very shy and cautious. Unlike Dotsy who has a waggish sense of humour. Both are inseparable. Scrambled eggs on toast? And a cup of tea?"

"Yeah, I'll put the kettle on."

The kitchen was the room Barbara was the most familiar with.

* * *

After their minimalistic dinner they met with his siblings and their partners and Glenn in the living room in front of the TV. They were giving some travel report from the Arctic Zone but when the narrator mentioned Father Christmas no one was really following anymore.

It started with Barbara wordlessly showing Tommy a picture of night shift desk officer Paul with his false beard that made them both snicker so hard that the others demanded to see the picture. When her phone was handed around they all talked animatedly about their Christmas parties. Peter and Natasha had been on a big party in Plymouth on Christmas Eve and Martin still had to run businesses on the oil platform where they celebrated with video conferences from home. Judith was more than glad that he would at least be able to attend the New Year's Eve party at Howenstow and a few more spare days afterwards. Barbara told them about the little booze-in at the office. It made Peter give a snide remark clearly all against his brother. They argued a bit while Glenn was eager to hear more about the oil platform from Martin.

Meanwhile Judith and Barbara had a nice conversation about Christmas morning and all the presents and wonderful moments. Judith showed pictures on her own mobile - the fully lit tree, all the decorations that still were there, the burning fire, the christmas stockings and all the presents, Trevor being the kid he was, Glenn turning into the kid he still partly was when both steered their new remote control toy cars through the grand hall, the big dinner event and shots from all the ridiculous jumpers. Even Tommy had a dark green knitted jumper on, on its front a Highland cattle with a red and white cap on the horns.

* * *

Barbara had to laugh so hard that it earned her a bad fit of coughing. Tommy put a blanket around her shoulders and briefly stroked her back soothing the coughs.

"Mother had entire fun presenting us those jumpers from aunt Edith." he grinned and rolled his eyes. "She's not only knitting socks, you know."

Barbara nodded and secretly cuddled her back a bit closer into Tommy's side. He did not seem to notice, she checked it with a quicke glance to the side. But while she scrolled through more pictures on the phone he had kept his arms in her back, almost around her shoulders.

On Boxing Day Simon and Deborah had dropped by and there also were guests she did not know. "Seems you've really had that beehive you've mentioned." Barbara croaked.

Tommy groaned. "Well, yes, indeed. Oh, that's Annabel, Sam's youngest daughter. I'm godfather to her son Michael."

"Aha?" Barbara was surprised when she looked at the picture of the very young woman.

"Sad story." Tommy whispered with his nose in her hair. "I'll tell you later."

This intimate proximity was disturbing. With trembling fingers Barbara swiped forward on the screen. "And that's my boss cuddling with a Teddy bear." Laughing Barbara leaned back and turned her head towards Tommy, watching his broadly smiling face. "I didn't know it was yours when I saw it sitting on the desk in your bedroom."

* * *

The distance she had brought between their faces still was too close and the smile he gave her was too tender so Barbara's face went slightly rosy. She should go to bed, she thought, and in the corner of her eyes she saw three heads suddenly had turned. She felt watched and it was not just her imagination.

"Aha? That explains the call from Ann. How come that nobody else knows it's in _your_ _bedroom_ , Tommy?" Martin asked ignoring the withering glare from his wife. Her glare turned into a smirk when Tommy tried to explain the situation.

He had harrumphed before speaking. "Yes, well, I still thought she'd be here tomorrow. When I've learned she'd stay in St Austell I've had so many other things so I didn't call her. Barbara only knows because she was using my bathtub yesterday."

Barbara blushed a bit deeper. Tommy's explanation made it all worse.

"Oh, was she?" Peter pressed on with a naughty grin.

Even Tommy blushed but Barbara fixed her eyes to the picture of Annabel and her baby boy on the smartphone.

"Well, yes, it's a long story. That's Michael." he pointed to the screen. Barbara only nodded silently.

"Well, it's a long evening." Peter said giving Natasha a kiss. "Isn't it."

"M-hm." she mumbled. Her look towards Tommy indicated that she also was eager to hear more details.

"Yes, dear brother, it is." Tommy's fuming eyes shot daggers at the younger Asherton. "But at the moment we are watching those pictures here."

Peter only snorted a laugh but would not dare to prod more. The tension between his brother and Barbara had turned visible.

"That's me with Michael and the polar bear. Ann named it Laska. It's a Laska."

Barbara turned her head again but this time with not as much distance to his as before. They shared a fond smile. Barbara would have kissed him right now, if there weren't so many people around. His eyes were looking so soft she never had seen him looking at her that way but she needed to be sure she was not phantasising it. If only they were alone, she could have tasted his lips, tested if he would approve, tested if maybe he was harbouring some of the feelings she recently had discovered she was having for him. And if it was not so dimly lit in here she would have been able to tell if his ears _really_ were getting darker.

All she could tell was that it was definitely too hot in the room.

"A few moments later he was drooling about a pint of saliva over my good shirt."

Now Glenn snorted into a laugh so Barbara turned away her face. Tommy became angry about himself for not having kissed Barbara, regardless of the family sitting nearby, but turned the moment into something laughable by telling this ridiculous thing. He would not have cared about all the people in here, or what they would think of it, or if they would have approved of it. Partly he also was angry about himself for having this sudden desire. She was his colleague and friend, he could not tell that often enough to his silly brain. Friends do not kiss. Friends are not lovers. He had been given proof of that more than once.

Despite Tommy's dark thoughts Glenn's laughter was infecting and the next few pictures with Tommy and the baby, especially the one where he holds it into the air with a disdainful expression on his face, made all laugh and grin so Tommy and Barbara blended in. There were a few more pictures on the other's mobiles and a short film on Glenn's phone with Peter slipping on a frozen puddle in the back yard. It was a wonderful laughter filled evening during which Tommy and Barbara shared a few more looks longer than necessary before Barbara went to bed sooner than all the others. Despite her nap in the afternoon she was tired because the cold still nagged at her.

* * *

"Have you seen their eyes?" Judith whispered to her husband a couple of moments after Tommy and Glenn had left the room too.

Martin gave her a kiss. "They look at each other like you've once looked at me."

"I still do." she mock grumbled.

"Nah. Nowadays you look even more loving. Deeper. Because you've got deeper knowledge about my love for you. And you already know what you will get from me when you look at me that way."

"Shut up." They kissed again. "I bet they will realise it tomorrow at the party. They have to. They can't be that blind!"

"Deal. I guess it will be a few days into the New Year. Two or three tops."

"Too early." Peter obviously had overheard their conversation. He handed them both a drink. "He's too dumb. But Barbara's a smart woman. And yeah, I'll give them no more than ten days. They'll be back in London first, I guess."

"I deep-clean the stables next weekend if they're not kissing at her doorstep right now." Natasha cut in.

"No, never. He's just gone to the kitchen." Peter raised his glass.

"Yes, and he's just returned with a family pack of crackers." Tommy returned. "Who wants what?"

The clueless irritation in his face about Natasha's deep groan and the laughter of the others was priceless.

* * *

 **.**

* * *

 **...**


	11. Brunch

**A/N:** I think it's time for another handful of chapters. Enjoy...

* * *

 **.**

 **Brunch**

 **.**

* * *

There would be no lunch today because dinner would be such a big event tonight. Barbara already knew that so she stayed under the warm duvet for as long as she could after waking up. She would be having a substantial brunch but probably on her own. From downstairs some loud bustling was heard. Unfamiliar voices and rushing feet indicated that the manor already was being prepared for tonight. Over the internal debate if she should offer her help Barbara dozed off again.

The buzzing of her mobile woke her up a bit later. She blew her nose and already smiled because she knew that this could only be Tommy. Who else would send her a message? It had become quite a nice habit between them.

'Are you up?' he had texted. Barbara pressed the mobile against her chest and with her eyes at the ceiling she thought about a witty answer.

Downstairs Tommy eagerly waited for it. He was lying on the lounger in the living room, his feet dangling from one side, his head placed on a pile of cushions. He had chosen this room to be clearly out of the way of the company that was preparing the rooms for the dinner and the party. Tommy was glad that his mother finally had started to delegate these tasks to professionals. In earlier years it had been a family thing that always had ended in a disastrous argument between the Asherton brothers. Their relationship had turned better lately. They were not best friends but finally able to talk with each other without starting to fight at some point. They had talked about what stood between them and Natasha probably was another reason that made Peter less spiteful. He probably never will forgive him completely but maybe one day in the future they will be like normal brothers again. Tommy sighed and watched Peter sitting in the armchair with his feet on the coffeetable, toying with his own mobile, earphones plugged in.

* * *

Then Tommy received an answer.

' *yawns* '

Tommy grinned and shot a glance to his brother but Peter still was engrossed in something else. 'I take it as a maybe.'

Then the image of Barbara stretching and yawning while she still was lying in her bed would not want to leave his mind and he kept on smiling while he thought about a topic for that communication. He liked the idea that he was able to sneak into her mind first thing in the morning. She usually always answered straight away. This time Barbara did not answer for another short while and he suddenly only was able to imagine himself snuggling with her under her duvet. It was pleasurable and frightening him at the same time that he thought about going upstairs. They could easily cuddle and sleep off most of the day until they had to show up at tonight's dinner event, Tommy thought. It reminded him that Barbara still had not said if she would join him or not.

'Will you be my companion for tonight's dinner?'

Her answer came promptly. 'You've said I don't have to attend it if I don't want to'

It made Tommy's heart fall. Of course he had said that and of course she did not have to attend this dinner but he dearly wanted her to be by his side on New Year's Eve and all the more at midnight. And now her answer sounded as if she was playfully giving the same answer she had given him yesterday morning talking about getting up. He knew this time he could not let this conversation go in that direction. He had to be more clear.

'That's why I ask you out' Oh, heavens, this sounded like he was asking for a date with his Sergeant. Which he was. Which he should have expressed different. Which she surely will decline.

'Ok'

Or maybe she won't decline. Tommy gained hope. 'Is this a yes?'

Barbara was lying in her bed, smiling broadly during that chat. Her heart was racing and having this ridiculous text message exchange she felt like a teenager making a date with her first crush. Only her boss was no crush at all. What she felt for him was dangerously deeper.

'Yes' With mixed emotions she stopped breathing until his answer came.

'Wonderful. Come down for breakfast?'

A part of her was screaming to get up, fly down the stairs and into his arms. The other part was too embarrassed about the feelings she had discovered and more so about the date she had confirmed. Barbara had to calm down her nerves before she would be able to meet any of the Ashertons, not to mention his Lordship himself. Anyway she blamed the warm and comfortable bed for staying there.

'Give me a few minutes. It's so comfy in here.'

'As long as you can survive without caffeine' Tommy answered.

* * *

Barbara laughed. Since this was the end of their conversation she put the mobile onto the night stand but her mind still orbited the topic of the evening event. She had been invited to something like that before. Only now he had explicitly asked her to accompany him. It meant sitting next to him and staying at his side for most of the evening. Like on a date. And it was a date, wan't it? A real date. Once more Barbara reached for her communication device.

'Are we having a date?' She almost stopped breathing again. His answer came straight away.

'Looks that way, doesn't it?'

'Ah, well, then I'd better get going and start choosing one of the fancy dresses from my rucksack'

If she would have seen him standing in the hallway grinning madly Barbara may not have tried to overplay her racing heart with such a ridiculous answer but it made the strange tension he had been feeling finally falling from his chest. He was not able to keep it inside how light-hearted he felt. Standing at the foot of the stairs Tommy had to laugh out loud. Upstairs in her room even Barbara could hear him.

'Sure. Take your time. I have to go to the stables. You can meet me there later if you want to get out of the way of mother's bustle'

* * *

A good bit later Barbara went down to the kitchen to have some healthy brunch. No one but her was there when Trevor came running in excitedly beaming. His face fell when he recognised Barbara.

"Oh." he said disappointed.

Barbara had just finished her last toast with cheese and jam and only had kept sitting at the table for reading her book in an undisturbed place. She had looked up when the boy came in. "Have you expected someone else?"

"I had hoped... I just..." Trevor stammered. "I had hoped you were uncle Tommy. I..." He chewed on the inner side of his cheek.

"Yes?" Barbara put down her book and smiled encouraging.

"I am not allowed to go to the horses on my own." Trevor pouted and climbed onto the other chair. "What are you reading?" Are there nice pictures in it? I have a book where I can colour in the pictures. Do you like painting?"

Without having a chance to answer the first questions Barbara chose to ignore his last ones too. "Do you like the horses?"

Trevor nodded and gave her a heartbreaking doe-eyed look expressing his hope that although she was not his uncle she probably might still come with him. He did not do it on purpose but there was no way she would be able to resist the little man's pleading eyes, and the fact that she expected seeing the taller man with the same dark eyes in the stables made her decision to accompany Trevor all the more easier.

"Shall I come with you?" Instead of giving an answer Trevor jumped from the chair and ran happily howling towards the entrance door. "Wait! I have to get into proper shoes first!" Barbara laughed.

Before he could drag her out of the house Barbara insisted on warm clothes even though it had turned warmer. Unfazed by Trevor's nagging that it is "soooooo warm in the stables" she tossed him his woollen Celtic Glasgow scarf.

"You wouldn't want to get the sniffles, do you? I can tell it's no fun at all. So we don't go out there without our coats on."

"Mummy would let me." he murmured.

"I bet she won't." Then Barbara knelt down and helped him with the zipper. "You know, Trevor, I'm a Detective. Like uncle Tommy. I'm a police woman. I know when you're trying to cheat on me."

Her eyes winked friendly but the boy blushed nonetheless. "Yes, Ma'am." he murmured almost inaudibly and Barbara could not resist to ruffle through his dark hair. With Trevor she could do it without restrictions or irritated questions but there definitely was a different head on her mind when she did so. Oh, why on earth did all the Asherton boys have to have those gorgeous dark locks?!

A deep sigh came from her lips when she slowly followed the little tornado towards the stables.

* * *

 **.**

* * *

 **...**


	12. The Asherton Horse Business

**.**

 **The Asherton Horse Business**

 **.**

* * *

When Trevor and Barbara met Tommy in the stables she was wearing the presents he had given her for Christmas. It caught his eye immediately and raised his mood. He was in a stressingly polite conversation with two sheep-eyed stable girls on their last shift this year who went off giggling but shooting daggers from their eyes at Barbara because Tommy's eyes had visibly lit up at her sight and he had excused himself in the moment when Barbara had come in.

Tommy gave Barbara a little tour. He led her around explaining all the horses. He told her about their common riding horses and those who lived in the hired boxes, the three award winning stallions and the mares, and the only foal from this year. He also showed the fine leather works in the tack room and all the medals and cups the Asherton horse business had won with their horses. All the time Trevor walked with them and he never let go of Barbara's hand eager to learn what his uncle was telling. At the end of the tour Tommy gave him a bucket with oats and allowed him to give some to each horse.

"Three of your little handful into the troughs. Not more. We wouldn't want to let them have the tummyaches, would we." When the boy went to do his task with an earnest expression the adults finally had time for a more private conversation. Although neither of both mentioned again that they were having a proper date tonight the evening still was their topic.

"I have to admit I'm a bit nervous." Barbara murmured after a while and blew her nose once more. They still stood in front of the show case with some of the trophies. The common room was rather big and there were lockers and a table with six chairs. They did not sit down though but kept standing, still mostly looking at the gold, silver and bronze stuff instead of each other.

"Don't be. It's just a dinner with family and friends and then a simple party. And you really don't have to choose one of the fancy dresses you've got in your rucksack." Tommy winked. "I guess most of the party guests are wearing jeans anyway."

"Do you?" Barbara laughed. She actually could not imagine him in casual clothings on events like this even if it was announced as a casual party.

"Of course n- Mmh, you got me." Tommy joined her laughter. "Well, should I?"

With a grin she sized him up and down. He looked pretty sexy in his slightly dirty blue jeans for his stable work, with Wellies and a knitted polo-neck jumper. "You don't look too bad in it, Sir ...Tommy."

His heart made a small jump when he heard her correcting herself without him asking for it. And she looked so cute when she was blushing with that mischievious smile. Had she really just been sizing him up? The pleasant goosepimple shower across his nape seemed to confirm it.

"Well, Judith will perhaps come in jeans, in black jeans of course, Natasha probably too and Peter wears nothing else ever - I guess it's time I shock my mother with wearing denim this year."

"And no tie? What will the family think of it?" Barbara teased him. She always loved his appearance in dark suits, crisp white shirts and with a bow-tie, his shiny hair strictly combed back and the trademark lock of hair falling into his face only later in the day. But since this mostly was his usual work dress she also loved seeing him in more casual things. This time though she would not want to stick out from all the noble and rich people with her simple and cheap things so his nice bum covered with denim or the jersey cloth of a T-shirt stretched over his broad chest were not the only reason he should not wear a suit this time.

"Of course I'll wear a tie." Tommy answered mock shocked. "Shirt, tie, jacket. Goes along very well with black denim, by the way." They shared a laugh before he shook his head. "Seriously, I guess, I'll wear the usual black suit."

"What about black leather?" Now Barbara had to laugh out really loud causing another fit of coughs. He gave her a sympathetic smile although her coughing was not as heavy as it still was yesterday.

* * *

"Good to see that your coughs have turned better." Tommy changed the subject.

"If only my nose would follow my lungs on their way to recovery." As if to emphasize it she had to sneeze.

Full of pity Tommy stroked her upper arm but before he could express his concern with words Trevor came running back. He had finished his feeding round and now impatiently demanded to meet Dotsy. He put the bucket down and turned.

"Who's first at the fence!" he exclaimed expecting one of the adults to follow.

"Ah, ah, wait, young man!" Tommy called him back. Trevor knew what his uncle wanted and rolled his eyes with a groan. He stopped and turned nonetheless. "I know you'll mount her, but not without this!" Tommy pushed a kids riding helmet onto Trevor's head.

"Yes, Sir." Trevor groused. Tommy inhaled to give a sharp rebuke but when he felt Barbara's hand on his arm he stopped and turned to her, wanting to explain his strict orders.

"Safety first. I know." Barbara simply smiled and reassured him that she would take care of the boy. Their eyes locked. "And why is he allowed to call you Sir and I'm constantly reminded I'd have to call you Tommy?"

Her cheery voice stood in clear contrast to the deep soft look she gave him. It let him involuntarily know that she in fact did not mind saying his name. In this unobserved moment an invisible wall had vanished and the atmosphere in the common room had changed. The tension between them had become palpable. Tommy inhaled again in order to answer but he found no proper words. He wanted to say 'because I love hearing it from your lips'. He wanted to say 'I don't want that barrier between us'. He dearly wanted to say that he loved her. He wanted to pull her into his arms and prove it. He wanted to kiss her. Kiss her doubts away, kiss her feelings to the surface, kiss her senseless and let himself being kissed senseless too.

Nobody was kissed and nothing was said. Tommy kept quiet. He only exhaled his breath again when Barbara abruptly had turned to run after Trevor without any further explanation. She had realised that she had kept her hand on his arm for a little too long and they had looked into each other's eyes for a bit more than necessary to assure him of Trevor's safety. She had deeply blushed but Tommy surely had not seen it because she ran away after she had realised she was waiting for him to kiss her. She knew he would not.

He knew he almost had. And he knew he should not. When Barbara had left the stables Tommy let his head bump against the wood of one of the locker's doors. "You're an idiot." he hissed to himself. "You shouldn't even _think_ about it."

* * *

When Barbara and Trevor arrived at the paddock the huge shire horse stood in the furthermost corner on the other side eying everything suspiciously. Only Dotsy was curious and came running. The boy immediately wanted to mount it but he was stopped by Barbara. She made sure that Trevor would take on the required helmet properly and with its chin strap.

"You're like uncle Tommy!" Trevor whined and jumped from one foot to the other. The cheeky Shettie already nibbled at his jacket, hoping for some of the oats it still was smelling of.

"We're just concerned about your health, Trev!" Then she took a closer look at the tiny horse. "Indeed this _is_ a tiny horse!" she laughed when Trevor effortless climbed onto its back without a saddle.

With a happy "Yeehah!" they darted away. It looked absolutely adorable, the tiny horse, the tiny boy on it, the mincing steps Dotsy pattered onto the grass and the windmill-like pose Trevor made with his arms and legs. It did not look like he had had many riding lessons but he obviously did not need them to steer the pony even without stirrups or reins. Barbara stuffed her hands deep into the pockets of her coat and slowly followed the ridiculous pair towards the huge stallion. Eventually Cormoran boggled at the sight of Dotsy running towards him with the weirdly behaving boy on her back so he turned and ran the other way.

Somewhere in the middle of the paddock Barbara stopped to watch Trevor having fun. Her fingers toyed with a little plastic figure in her pocket while she thought about the previous moment in the stable's common room. Sighing she just stood there while the boy measured up half of the paddock. She was deep in thoughts. And in her back the huge shire horse stallion slowly approached her.

* * *

 **.**

* * *

 **...**


	13. Horses, horses

**.**

 **Horses, horses**

 **.**

* * *

There was still so much to do for tonight. Daze had needed a few minutes break from all the bustle in the house, all the preparations for the evening, so she had gone walking the dog. She had made a detour to prolong her stay outside and so she found her son standing leaned against the fence of the paddock watching his nephew bouncing on the pony and Barbara standing in the middle of the grassy area keeping an eye on him. Daze stopped right next to Tommy who briefly looked down and ruffled the hair of happily bouncing Pitty. He gave his mother a smiling nod.

"It's quite mild today, isn't it?" she said. "I mean compared with two days ago."

"Indeed. The sun's really warm." Tommy replied turning his eyes back to Barbara. "I think later we'll go on a little stroll to Weasel's Ford. We've got enough time before dinner and a small walk will sharpen the appetite."

"Hm." Daze nodded apparently absentminded. Was he aware of what he had said? She kept silent.

Tommy opted for not saying anything either. Although meant completely innocent his words had sounded ambiguous even to his own ears and he knew that his mother surely knew how romantically remote it was, that hidden spot between bushes and trees a couple of miles down the farm lane, but he kept his mouth closed since she did not let on anything. Her face still was turned towards Trevor on that tiny pony.

"He looks ridiculous." Daze eventually stated and for a while they talked about the boy's capability to ride but then they realised that Cormoran was coming from behind in Barbara's back while she still looked the other direction where Dotsy bucked around. Tommy was concerned that Barbara might be scared to death or the huge stallion would do something to her so he inhaled to call and warn her about the horse's approach.

* * *

"Don't!" Without taking her eyes from the woman Daze put a hand on her son's arm. Fascinated she murmured "Don't! She's already recognised him."

She shot a scrutinizing glance at her son. He caught it and firmly held her gaze until she turned her attention back to the scene on the wet grass. "Look! She's turning just a tad. It looks like she's concentrating on standing still. Waiting what happens next."

For a while mother and son watched what happened next. Barbara indeed had heard something behind her back and quickly had made sure what it was so now she just waited. Somewhere in the back of her mind she remembered some documentary about horses and riding and now stood still waiting for the giant to approach her in his own time. She was well aware of the horse.

"I'm surprised how calm she is." Tommy mumbled half to himself and half to his mother. "Given the fact that she's not at all used to horses, least of all without any fence between. And it's a big horse." Daze nodded. Her son was right. In many ways.

After a while and several moments that looked as if he had changed his mind the horse had reached Barbara. He carefully nudged her back with his head twice before she finally and very slowly turned to face him. "Hello, big boy." she had murmured turning and when she felt safe enough she tentatively raised her hand to caress his soft nostrils.

"What a gentle boy you are, my dear." Cormoran puffed into her hands, his ears nervously listening into all directions while she quietly talked to him. Barbara was sorry that she had no sugar or a carrot or something else to bribe the horse but it probably would not have made him stay for longer anyway. Eventually Trevor had brought Dotsy to run towards the two so Cormoran made a step to the side and Barbara one step backwards, then he shook his mane disgruntled about the interruption and ran away again. When the huge stallion gallopped through the paddock his hoofs were making a thundering sound on the cold and hard ground.

* * *

Behind the fence a few yards away Tommy and Daze talked about the scenery that had unfolded before their eyes.

"I think you should acquaint her with horses, Tommy. Maybe teach her how to ride, hm?" A brief look at her son revealed to her that she had hit a soft spot. He was blushing. So he had thought about something similar, she guessed. "I know it would be easy. She looks quite natural and relaxed, even though she's not used to horses, least of all to horses of that size."

Before he was able to answer Tommy had to clear his throat. Ashamed he inwardly cursed himself for having romantic thoughts about himself sitting on that stallion with Barbara in front of him, both riding into the sunset on the beach near Nanrunnel, the waves rolling to the shore. How hackneyed. And inappropriate. And impossible.

"Yes." He harrumphed again. "Yes, she does."

Watching her son closely Daze recognised how fond he looked at Barbara, how soft his usually rather serious and somewhat dark expression had turned while he watched his Sergeant acting with the horse. She had seldomly seen him looking at anything else like that before. Still there was a small flame of doubt or concern flickering in his eyes. Involuntarily she had to shake her head about his obviously complete ignorance. She sighed.

"You should start making the first steps soon, Tommy. The sooner the better."

His head turned to his mother. Was she still speaking of teaching Barbara to ride a horse?

* * *

"You could tentatively bring her to accept it, slowly let her approach these..." His mother's hand made a vague gesture through the air. "... _unfamiliar circumstances_. But you'll see it will be easier than you think. She'll adjust to it, she'll cope with it. And I can imagine her becoming truly happy. Don't wait too long, son." Daze patted his hand that was clamped into the wood of the fence.

"She will object." Tommy sighed already frustrated in advance.

"Of course she will." his mother laughed. She knew Barbara for some time now and had come to like that she had her own strong mind. She would be perfect as a counterpart for her son in so many ways and not only because he seemed to blossom and be happy when she was around. "You just have to reassure her that it's not as difficult as she might think it is."

"What if it only looks as if she doesn't-" It was not easy to express it without changing the topic from what it seemed to be about to what it really was. "...what if she only _likes_ horses but there's nothing more to it?"

Daze gave him a look silently asking 'You know that we are not talking about riding at all, don't you?' but his desperate expression was distinctively giving away that he was talking about his relationship with Barbara. She nodded but her answer kept the false topic. "Believe me. She loves them and will have no problems with everything related, not even dirty stables or bitchy mares. And I wouldn't mind if someone as refreshingly normal as Barbara would whirl through these stiff and dusty premises."

The pointing motion the elder Lady made with her head towards the centuries-old buildings was vague and not exclusively to the stables. "Which reminds me of my duties." she added with a deep sigh and whistled for the dog. Walking away with Pitty she addressed her son once more across her shoulder.

"Don't rush things but don't hesitate either. Just steer her gently into the right direction. She only needs a helping hand and reassurance. Like you."

Left alone at the fence Tommy was not sure if his mother this time really had meant his own first clumsy attempts on a horse or if she maybe had referred to his crazy love life. He wondered if she was suspecting something or if she already knew what went on in his mind. Maybe she even had detected that he was harbouring deeper feelings for his Sergeant than he actually should. And if his mother knew, then maybe Barbara sensed it too and he probably was in deep trouble. Combing down his wind-ruffled hair was of no great help for his confused thoughts.

His plan to go on a walk with Barbara to where he was given the first kiss of his life surely was. Or it would ruin everything.

* * *

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* * *

 **...**


	14. The Gentle Man

**.**

 **The Gentle Man**

 **.**

* * *

He was rescued from brooding too much by his mobile ringing. Judith called to tell him that Trevor's parents had arrived coming back from their short trip so Tommy whistled to get the attention of the two in the paddock. He only had mentioned his parents when Trevor already jumped down from the pony and ran towards the house.

"What a cute bundle of energy." Barbara laughed when she arrived at the fence a few moments later. With Tommy's helping hand she climbed over it.

"And he loves you for taking him to the horses."

"Yeah, I like him too."

Tommy smiled up to her. He had grabbed her hand and was waiting for her to jump down the four feet. Gladly he would catch her if she only would jump into his arms. She hesitated and it almost looked as if she would do just that but then she did not. Decently she climbed down on his side of the fence and he dared not hold her hand longer than necessary. He harrumphed.

"Fancy a walk?"

Barbara nodded. A part of her had fancied jumping into his arms and if he would have spread them she would have let herself fall. But a walk would do. It probably also would clear her mind.

Tommy led her down a farm lane. "Where are you goin' to take me?" she asked. She would follow him wherever he would take her but still she was curious.

"To Weasel's Ford. A nice spot in a grove down that lane. 'bout 1 3/4 miles from here. It's where I once got my first kiss." He knew he should not have said that. When Barbara blew her nose he added the anxious question if the two miles were too much. Tommy was not sure if she only blew her nose because she really needed to or if she did it to hide her embarrassment about his confession. Maybe it was both. One thing he would not want to do now though was going back to the manor.

* * *

"Oh, no, no. 't's okay." Barbara chose to ignore the importance of the ford. It was better to keep her mind on a decent path.

For a while they just talked about the weather. Then they reached a black and yellow barrier tape. The path ahead was closed due to bad conditions and the danger of slipping down. The ground under their feet already had turned into mud a few yards ago but now that it went downhill to the small creek it obviously was too dangerous to walk on. A sign pinned at a tree said that there also had been a landslide.

"Ah, yes, of course. We've had a few days of heavy rain before Christmas." Tommy explained. He was disappointed. Secretly he had hoped for a romantic situation. He could have tried to kiss her. Maybe the remote spot down there would have made her soft and susceptible for his advances. Or at least less scandalised if she was not reciprocating his love. Now there only was the hope he still kept for the New Year's Eve party.

"What a pity." Secretly Barbara also had looked forward to being alone there, with gurgling water, a soft breeze whispering through the leaves of the trees. She shook her head. She was being unrealistic again. No, she said to herself, this was just a walk. Two friends satisfying their need for fresh air, although fresh was not the right term anymore for the chilliness between the bushes.

"Hm. Well, it's still quite cold here in the shadow of the trees. What if we go back and have a healthy cup of hot chocolate?" Tommy suggested.

"That would be brilliant." Barbara croaked. "Would actually be best for me. I've just realised I should not yet overdo my exercises."

* * *

On their way back to the manor on a different footpath they came past another paddock with horses.

"Trevor loves to ride, doesn't he?" she asked.

"Oh, he does. And he's much more talented than me." he laughed.

"You? Not talented in riding? Weren't you put on a horse at the age of two already, your Lordship?" she teased him.

"Actually no. And when I started - I was five already - I was rather... well... clumsy."

"Clumsy?" Barbara snorted a laugh. "I can't believe that."

"Well, when his overly proud father wants him to be perfect from the start a little boy might be a bit tense. Never mind. In fact it's easier than you think. Why don't you try?"

"Yes, sure. Me on a horse. Don't be ridiculous, Tommy."

He positively jerked by the mentioning of his name. Then he put his arm around her shoulders again. Of course they had used to walk like this from time to time previously but today it felt different for both. It suddenly was mentally closer. That might be the reason why his name had slipped her lips so easily.

"That's not ridiculous at all, Barbara."

"Anyway, even if I would want to I wouldn't be able to afford it."

"I could-"

"Sir!" she sharply cut him short. She was not really angry. Her joy still was vibrating in her words. "You won't buy me egg-white riding gear or pay a teacher!"

Laughing Tommy squeezed her shoulders. "I was about to say that I could start teaching you while you're here."

"Oh." Barbara blushed a bit.

"And maybe when we're back in London I'll buy you egg-white riding clothes and pay for the lessons."

A whack onto his belly made him withdraw his arm. "Ouch! Cruel woman!" he yelped. "And here I am only wanting to be nice."

Barbara snorted. "You could help me finding an affordable flat in the next three months. Somewhere in the outskirts of London. Maybe in Kent."

* * *

While they walked along the stonewall of a brown field in its winter sleep, Barbara first, Tommy behind her on that narrow path, Barbara talked about all the bad things that had happened this year and ranted and worked herself up into a rage about it. Tommy only listened and interspersed one or the other positive signal.

"It's been a fuckin' shitty year, Sir!" Barbara angrily summed it up.

When they had reached the big hedge in the back garden of the manor she suddenly stopped and turned. Finally Tommy saw that she's been crying for a while and the sniffles he had heard had not been because of her cold alone.

"I even think about selling my mother's wedding ring!" She held up her hand with the golden ring she was wearing recently. "And it's the only thing I've kept."

"Barbara!" he said toneless and made a step forward grabbing her hand to still it with a soft kiss. Involuntarily his other arm went around her and held her lightly against his chest. It only made her tears stream heavier.

"I'm almost at the end of my savings, Sir. My mother has left me debts I only was able to pay with my Christmas bonus. You won't believe how I have awaited the payment. I don't know where to move, but I have to. Because the rent has risen so much. My car broke down the other day resulting in an expensive repair and-" She sobbed and looked even angrier than before. She had not wanted to cry, she surely had not wanted to cry before his eyes and she had not at all wanted to cry even more in his arms. "Life's an arsehole this year and this bloody flu doesn't make it any better." she croaked. She could not help it but being in his arms was not only making her feel free to weep everything off her soul but it also soothed her nerves immensely and in a strangely comfortable way.

Tommy smiled down at her. He gave her a warm and emboldening smile. His eyes sunk into hers loving and fond. Then he raised his other arm and with a gentle thumb he caressed her cheek, wiping away the tears. His gesture only produced more tears.

"You don't have to face all that on your own, Barbara."

* * *

In the conservatory Tommy's sister Judith stood at the window sipping a coffee. She had seen the couple approaching and then stopping in a distance. They surely won't see her but she was able to see them. She had seen how gently her brother had put his arm around Barbara.

"Ma!" Judith called. Daze was talking with a caterer in the doorway. For Judith's liking her reaction was far too slow. "Ma, quick, come! Come here and look! He's going to kiss her!"

Suddenly Daze hurried to her daughter quicker than a decent Lady should. Together they stared out of the huge window pane. They saw him talking to her, softly, gently, probably whispering. They saw her nodding and sadly but hopefully smiling up to him. They saw his fingers caressing her cheek and they saw that the distance between the two was shrinking quickly. They saw the faces of Tommy and Barbara getting closer and closer and their bodies seemed to be drawn to each other. And when Judith stopped breathing and Daze choked "Oh my god!" Tommy pulled Barbara completely into both arms and only hugged her. The only kisses that were exchanged were his lips in her hair and her nuzzling face in the wool above his chest.

"Idiot!" Judith groaned.

"Oh, you stupid boy!" Daze sighed shaking her head.

* * *

"You're not alone." Tommy whispered into Barbara's hair. "You've got a friend. And I'm always there to help you wherever and with whatever I can and you allow me to."

While he gave her another kiss on top of her head he inwardly cursed himself for being such a stupid coward and too much a gentleman. An idiotic gentleman who would never take advantage that the woman he secretly loved was suffering such a seemingly hopeless situation.

* * *

 **.**

* * *

 **...**


	15. The Ladies

**.**

 **The Ladies**

 **.**

* * *

After a while Barbara still was agitated. Her personal situation was not the cause for it anymore but cuddling into that Cornish man's chest with his arms around her and his cheek softly rubbing across the top of her head had caused another turmoil in her systems. It was soothing and exciting all at once.

"Sir." she sniffled into the wool of his jumper and despite her following words intensified the grip of her arms around his waist under the coat he was wearing. "We should go inside. It's starting to become..." ...too pleasant, she was about to say. Too embarrassing even when she thought about people possibly standing at windows and watching them. "...too cold." she said.

Although he enjoyed holding her Tommy pushed Barbara a bit away from his chest watching her with concern. "Are you feeling better?" he asked with a low voice.

Barbara only nodded. "Thank you... Tommy..." she mumbled without looking at him.

Reluctantly Tommy let go of the still slightly devastated woman and they turned towards the house. Coming closer his arm still was around her shoulders and she even had dared to keep one of hers looped around his waist. They saw Judith and Daze talking with each other behind the windows. Tommy knew that he and Barbara had been watched but when Judith turned her head she played as if she was just recognising the couple. She waved a hand and opened the patio door.

"Hello you two." she cheered while Daze mumbled she would not endure this and at the moment had other things to do than trying to bang some people's heads together. Only her daughter had heard it and found it hard to suppress a laugh.

* * *

"We've been on our way to Weasel's Ford. Did you know it's closed?" Tommy stepped into the conservatory behind Barbara. Unfortunately they had to let go of each other. "Obviously there was a landslide after all that rain recently."

"To Weasel's Ford?" Judith raised an eyebrow. She knew that place and could very well imagine what Tommy had planned there. "Oh, yes, Kentrick told me the crook now has a little lake there. He joked to rename it Weasel's Dam." With a sympathetic smile Judith stroked Barbara's upper arm. "You okay?" she quietly asked. Everybody could see her brother's friend had been crying.

"Yes, thank you. It's just annoying, this stupid cold." If Barbara would want to play that then Judith would play along.

"I have that same nasal spray you use, if you might need some more?"

"I guess I won't." Barbara snuffled loudly. "Like this, I don't think I'd want to attend that dinner at all."

His sad eyes said something completely different but still Tommy told her that she would not have to go if she was not feeling well enough. "Of course I would like to have y-"

"Bollocks, Tommy!" Judith cut in, then turned to Barbara. "Of course you will join us. Just because some of our lot have forgotten what it's like having such an earthly thing like a cold it should not keep you away from that event. I know you're going to enjoy it!"

"Even without being sick I have nothing appropriate to wear, Judith. I've-"

"Shush!" Judith turned to her brother who was standing there like a boy who did not know if he was allowed to take his girlfriend's hand and actually that's what he wanted. It made his sister hesitate for a second before she went on. "You go and do some paperwork, Tommy. I know Ma has left you more than enough to do before you return to London. And this..." she returned her attention to Barbara and winked "will be a women's afternoon."

Tommy really pouted. "What about the hot chocolate I promised Barbara?"

He could only watch her being turned away and dragged towards the doors by his resolute sister. His usually equally resolute Sergeant was only able to shrug and turn a sorry face towards him. But before she could say anything Judith already spoke. She had a mission.

"You can have her later, brother, and for the rest of the evening. Right now we have to do women's things."

"I'm intrigued." he murmured defeated. "And how!"

Tommy was left behind a bit lonely standing at the window in the conservatory thinking about his Sergeant in glamorous evening clothes.

* * *

There were absolutely no glamorous evening clothes Barbara could choose from. She only had her overstuffed rucksack with her and of course there was no space and no possible way to get the dark suit she usually wore on such occasions with her without it becoming completely crumpled. That suit was all but glamorous anyway. But she had some dark slacks in the wardrobe.

"You could even wear those black jeans, Barbara." Judith reassured her in Barbara's room. "You know, one year back in our youth Ma had prohibited jeans. I was in my teens, I was rebelling against everything and nothing. Ma had said 'no blue jeans' so I took on my black ones for an official function."

The women grinned at each other. "What did she say?" Barbara asked amused.

"Nothing, actually. Only Dad gave me house arrest for a month. But in the end when the little bad boys were older we were finally allowed to wear black jeans. Never blue, though. Now, what do we choose as top to make him realise what a beauty he has at his side..."

Barbara blushed. He wouldn't recognise anything like that. She did not feel beautiful at all, least of all with her red runny nose, and he definitely would not care how she looked anyway. "Oh, bollocks, Judith." she murmured.

"Ah, sure. Although he still would be delighted even if you came down in a potato sack. He still would- " Judith quickly shook her head and returned her attention to the wardrobe. "...well, what about that?" She held up Barbara's black v-neck shirt she had brought in case she needed to dress for something like tonight. But this and the black jeans? "No, it may be the last day of the year but it's still no funeral. Hmm..."

They spread all of Barbara's tops on the bed but nothing matched Judith's ideas.

"See?" Barbara sighed. "I've got nothing to wear. And even if I'd come completely in black I'd have no shoes."

"Wait here. I'll find something in my wardrobe."

* * *

If she liked it or not Barbara was doomed to take part in that dressing game and Judith was obsessed with the idea that she would not miss the dinner and the party. When the Lady returned from her room Barbara already had put on the dark grey slacks and her simple leather boots. Other than her heavy boots they did not look too clumsy in combination with the loose trousers. The plain light grey silk top from Judith, a bit tight in some places but fortunately not too much, shimmering almost silvery above her curves, made it all the more elegant. The top had a wide round folded neckline and showed a lot of her shoulders and decolletee. Seeing the chestnut brown leather of the only reasonably available shoes peeking from under the trousers Judith dashed off again - "Don't move!" she had said to Barbara before leaving - and came back with a thin shoulder scarf of almost the same warm colour.

"Its colour corresponds with your shoes, goes very well along with the colour of your hair. Simple but elegant, isn't it?" Barbara answered with a short disbelieving laugh. "And it also covers your shoulders if you feel too displayed. Still you can..." Judith tugged a bit here and there. "...hint at what is underneath."

"Judith!"

Tommy's sister smirked. "What?" she asked fake innocent.

Standing in front of the mirror on the door of the wardrobe Barbara covered her exposed neck. "I feel... somewhat naked around here. Wouldn't I have to wear some necklace or something?"

"Tush! You don't need excessive jewellery. And what about that?" She took the small silver chain from Barbara's nightstand after looking around. A little silver lady bug dangled at the chain.

"I got it from my Mum when I was twelve." Barbara explained. "It's too silly. I won't wear it."

"And if... I don't want to offend you but if you wear only the chain? Without the bug?" And show that there's enough room for Tommy to put something new on it, Judith's thoughts went on. "It looks rather fine."

They tried it. It looked simple but effective.

* * *

"I don't have any make-up." Barbara's fears for a tensed and unfamiliar dinner with Lords and Ladies still found objections. Sure, she had taken part in some, she was Tommy's working partner and friend for so long that there had to be occasions for dressing up and feeling misplaced. Just remember his wedding. Only this time it felt so different. Although she never would admit it she dearly wanted to spend this evening with his Lordship. And she dearly wanted to be attractive just for him. Still there were so many people she probably would have her issues with. Or they with her in fact. And she still wondered why she would want him to find her attractive at all. Ah, all this was so futile.

Judith had seen her inner debate clearly written in her face so she rubbed the younger woman's back and smiled towards her reflection. "You absolutely don't need any make-up at all, Barbara. We all know you without and you look so good the way you are. Your cheeks are naturally rosy anyway."

"Yes, and my nose is shining red." Barbara groaned. "How do I blow my nose at the table? And how will I behave when I have to cough? Or worse: sneeze?! Or when I get a fit of those bad coughs again?"

For a while Judith told her where to hide a tissue and revealed a few tricks for every possible occasion Barbara would come up with. She would not let her stay in her bedroom tonight. There was a solution for every tiny problem Barbara was concerned of and in the end Judith finally had convinced her she should join that dinner and the party afterwards. There was nothing left to do for Barbara but having another long bath and a short nap later in the afternoon before she would join the family downstairs in the salon to start the evening together.

And for Judith it was completely beyond debate that Barbara will properly join the family sooner or later.

* * *

 **.**

* * *

 **...**


	16. Meet the Girls

**.**

 **Meet The Girls**

 **.**

* * *

After Judith had left the room to see if she could help Daze Barbara filled the tub in the bathroom on the other side of the corridor. Before she dived into the water she sent Tommy another text message first.

'Don't expect me to search you in this labyrinth you call home. Just wanted to inform you I'm having a bath and later a nap.'

The answer came straight away as if he had been waiting for a sign. 'But we still have that date?'

Barbara smiled. 'Sure' she wrote although she had not been so sure previously. Too many objections and fears had filled her head before his sister had convinced her that there was nothing to it and the dinner would be just an ordinary family dinner. Of course she knew it was far more than that but she would cope.

'Will I pick you up?'

'We'll meet in the salon at 6'

 _Of course_ , Tommy thought with a smile and leaned back in the chair at the desk in his bedroom, looking at the picture of them both leaning against the harbour railing. _You are part of the family._

* * *

Barbara sunk into the hot water that smelled wonderful of something she did not know and did not care what it was at all. She just had let her nose pick it from the offered choice. Then she closed her eyes and let her mind wander. Even though this tub was not as luxuriously huge as Tommy's own it still was bigger than anything she had ever bathed in and he would still fit in with her.

"Oh, blimey!" Barbara sighed. It had only been seconds ago that she had closed her eyes and her mind already was putting her in deep trouble. Barbara sighed again. It could not go on like that. Every time they had shared this marvellous proximity, and it was happening in every possible situation or so it seemed, she only wanted him to kiss her. She wanted to kiss him and show him that she deeply cared for him. That there was more than a working relationship, that they were more than friends or at least on her side there was more than what a sister felt for her brother.

She knew she was in love with him.

Her eyes opened quickly when she thought about the coming evening where she had to stay at his side. Social conventions would require it since she was his personal guest and this frightened her so much with all the other people around. Not that she did not want to be with Tommy but Barbara would have preferred just sitting on the settee in the grand hall, with the fire crackling and the lights out, cuddling with him. Even if they would only be innocently cuddling, and nothing more, it would have been much more tolerable than being scrutinised by all these noble guests. Everybody will think she was his fling, she presumed. And even if so, she actually would not care as long as he would finally give her a kiss at midnight. It was all she finally was able to think of here in the tub. It was all she wanted.

In fact she wanted more but knew she never would get it. Once again she cursed her own inexperience in such matters. Yes, she had loved one or the other man, she even had had sex with one or the other man but in the end there had been nothing serious, nothing she had seriously longed for like she was longing for Tommy, and more so nothing at all lately. Her mind was preoccupied with what she never would get but she had to live with that. Full stop. The only thing that was left was her fantasy. Of that she had enough indeed and so she started to let it flow. The long hot bath turned into a pleasantly long bath that had left her mind at ease with what she already had and due to the hot water her body was as tired as required for a little nap.

* * *

The little nap turned into a deep sleep so she was glad that she had set the alarm before going to bed. She got up, refreshed her face and put on the clothes she had picked together with Judith. She blew her nose and used the nasal spray. Then she hid the little plastic star in one of her trouser pockets and stared into the mirror.

"Oh, god, I can't do this!" she suddenly whispered to her reflection.

'I can't!' she texted Judith and combed a hand through her hair. _It looks awful_ , she thought and groaned in annoyance.

In a few short moments' time there was a knock at her door but before she could answer it already was opened and Tommy's sister popped her head in.

"Allowed to come in?" Seeing Barbara fully dressed Judith did not wait at all and entered without closing the door behind her. "You can't? Why not?"

Barbara gave her a desperate look. "My hair..." she started but was cut off by Judith's laughter. Unable to voice her protest Barbara found herself being turned, nudged out of her room and almost pushed into the corridor.

"Oh, yes, you can." Judith still was grinning. "You look gorgeous! And did you ever take a closer look at Davinia's hair? Compared with her Camilla is pretty and you look like a beauty queen. In general. And more so since you wear your hair longer. Now get yourself going or shall I push you down the stairs?"

Snickering both women reached the staircase with their waiting men in the entrance hall.

* * *

Tommy was in his dark suit and Martin in a kilt. So, he was Scottish like Ian, Barbara understood. She recognised that the tartan was repeated in the cloth Judith had around her completely naked shoulders. Her top was distinctively more posh than her own but Judith also showed distinctively more skin under her shawl. While they walked down the stairs, Barbara blushing and reluctant and Judith suppressing a happy bouncing approaching her beloved husband, the men observed their very own beauty queens. For Barbara the steps seemed to be endless but when they finally were down in the entrance hall Martin bent down to his wife and gave her a gentle kiss. Barbara could not hear what they whispered. Awkwardly she made another step towards Tommy who then also bent down to her.

She stopped breathing.

Nothing happened. Nothing she had for a second dearly wished for, that is. Unfortunately his lips went past hers and only brushed her cheek when Tommy gave her what initially should have become a cheek-to-ceek air-blown kiss. But she felt her lips accidentally touching his earlobe. Judith recognised the tentative moment an secretly watched them both blushing and nervously looking away from each other.

 _You are so due tonight!_ she thought.

With amusement she saw Tommy's hand sliding down Barbara's arm. Only his fingertips seemed to touch her but they left clearly visible goosepimples on her skin. He caressed her hand and for the fragment of a second they took hold of the other but obviously neither of them dared to walk into the salon holding hands. Their eyes still looked everywhere but not at each other.

Her husband had followed Judith's eyes. "They're due tonight!" Martin suddenly whispered into her ear and chuckled before he led his wife to the rest of the family. They were the last ones. Daze sat in a chair, a tray of champagne glasses on the table next to her, Trevor was squished between his brother and his father and looked like he was going to explode soon, having to sit still in the fine suit he wore. Catrina was filling the glasses and Peter and Natasha leaned against the window sill holding hands. Natasha looked as nervous as Barbara felt but Peter radiated a certainty only a Lord could. He was not wearing the announced jeans but a same dark suit similar to all other men.

When Tommy saw it his face turned proud and he gave Barbara a grin saying 'Look, my brother finally has come to his senses.' She nodded in response.

"Hmmm. He looks handsome." Barbara earned a wounded look from Tommy. For a second he was jealous of his younger brother but she patted his arm with a mischievous grin. "Don't look at me like that, Prince Popinjay. He looks _of course_ not as gorgeous as you, Sir."

Then she blushed. She had realised she really had meant it.

"Tommy!" he hissed with a glaring look. The wrinkles around his eyes though deepened in joy.

"Tommy!" she hissed back wagging her head and rolling her eyes. She almost had sticked out her tongue to him when he nudged his shoulder against hers.

"Finally!" Daze sighed and got up after Judith and Martin had entered the room. "All present now, are we?"

* * *

 **.**

* * *

 **...**


	17. Dinner with Friends

**.**

 **Dinner With Friends**

 **.**

* * *

After a glass of champagne and Daze's short annual speech to the family it was time for the first guests to drop by for dinner. One by one they arrived during the next hour and eventually they moved to the great hall where the settee, the small coffee-table and all other pieces of furniture already were pushed to the sides and the huge refectory table was set for about twenty people. Barbara swallowed seeing how big this event would be.

"They're all nice people." Tommy gave her hand a brief squeeze. He had seen her eyes growing wide when they've entered the huge room with the old partitioned window and now tried to make a joke. "The not so nice will come only later for the party."

Barbara managed a smile.

Apart from the family she already knew there was not only nobility. "I told you we have friends too. And they're not all Lords and Ladies." Tommy had grinned, still in the salon, when he had introduced her to Aljosha, the son of his father's favourite freelance mechanic, and his beautiful wife Lizzie. While Tommy gave Lizzie a kiss on the back of her hand a short wave of jealousy rushed through Barbara's blood.

"Go, keep your hands to your own lady, Toms, and leave that woman to me!" the huge man laughed and slapped his paw onto Tommy's back. Barbara blushed and excused herself to the restroom. She used her nasal spray there but she just wanted to get away from this nice but boisterous man presuming things that were not there.

When Barbara returned Lord and Lady Peacroft had arrived in the meantime so she only was introduced briefly. The elderly people already were in a deep conversation with Davinia and Daze.

* * *

A bit later two jolly women in expensive but extraordinarily different clothings arrived with their own butler who immediately made himself useful.

"That's Lady Sedgeberg." Tommy said after introducing Barbara as his colleague and very best friend.

"Please, call me Micky." The elder woman offered a big smile and her greeting hand to Barbara.

"And that's Lady Andrea, Countess of Sedgeberg." Tommy turned to the other colourful woman.

"Oh, Tommy, don't be such a ponce. I'm Andy!" She even pulled Barbara into a light but lovely hug.

Apart from her positive shock about that Barbara looked at Tommy slightly confused so he explained. "They're wife and sister of the same man, the late Lord Sedgeberg."

And then in unison all three added "God bless him." and chuckled. Barbara suspected a story behind that. Tommy only winked.

* * *

Other than the nobility there also was Hendrik Norson, introduced by Tommy as the best stable boy of the world.

Hendrik fiercely objected. "Hey, I'm the bloody manager of your horse business, your Lordship!"

He shared a heartfelt laugh with Tommy and they gave each other a men's hug.

"Where's Mary?" Tommy asked looking towards the entrance.

"Delivering a new subject to you."

"Oh?"

"You're not with her?" Barbara was rather astonished. How could one go to a party when his wife was giving birth to a baby?

It made Hendrik grin. "She's a midwife. And Smithee's little girl was eager to have it all done this year."

"Maybe she'll come to the party later?"

"Smithee's little girl?" Hendrik laughed.

"Norson!" Tommy chided him but shared his laughter. "Your wife, of course."

"I dearly hope so."

Barbara knew she would meet more friends and family of all sorts later at the party which would start at about half past nine. But at the moment only dinner guests were there. She missed two who usually should be here.

"Where are Deborah and Simon?" she quietly asked after all had arrived.

His grin broadened. "They're in Italy this year." As an answer to her unspoken question he juicily murmured "They're trying to have another baby so I bet they're-"

With wide eyes Barbara gave his lower arm a silencing squeeze. His chuckle in her ears and getting slightly rosy in her face she looked around. She had been introduced to all of the dinner guests. Now they loosely stood around the table or already sat down at their places, marked with little cards in the shape of falling stars. Secretly Barbara shoved her hand into her pocket and closed her fingers around her personal star. It would guide her through this evening.

* * *

Between the first and the main course Barbara had managed to blow her nose at the table without attracting too much attention and now leaned over to Tommy. They were sitting at the long end of the table, Aljosha next to Barbara and Daze next to Tommy, then Hendrik. On the other side there were Judith and Peter with their partners. The head ends had been left vacant. Still it was some sort of obvious seating arrangement. The ones closest to the family sat in the middle and Barbara sat right next to the host. At least for some of the guests that must have raised the question where her position was. She felt observed.

"They are looking at me." she whispered.

It pitied him that she felt uncomfortable with it. He placed his hand on hers. For a short moment she was about to withdraw her fingers. His gesture only made it worse that they probably all thought she was his partner which was not at all true and this fact hurt. The touch of his hand though was wonderfully pleasant.

"They only wonder who that beautiful woman at my side could be." Tommy murmured into her ear and gently nudged her fingers. Despite his own feeling that at least some of their guests were watching them he in fact loved to lead them to believe that there was a sweet secret between him and Barbara. It was thrilling. And unfortunately not the truth.

"Flatterer!" she answered blushing a bit.

His face was turned to her and it was nothing but honest. It made her even more nervous. "Barbara, I'm serious!"

She bumped her shoulder against his. "Oh, shut up, Sir!" This had been a bit too loud and boisterous so a few people turned their head openly curious and it only made Barbara blush deeper. Tommy gave her an amused smile and quietly asked her to please keep to calling him by his name. She rolled her eyes but answered his smile nonetheless.

* * *

The dinner went by with nothing important. They had bruschetta as starters, then a simple soup. Good pork chop with potatoes and carrots, all from local farmers, was the main course. Wine, beer or water were the drinks. After a creamy heaven of a dessert and a coffee they all got up. Some simply wandered through the rooms, some went for a drink, some went for a cigarette outside. Their chairs were put away and the table was cleared from the dishes and the decoration. It would serve as the bar later, with the big candle holders at the sides.

As chance would have it all closest Asherton men, small and tall, native and married, stood in the corner near the big tree. Apart from two Scots, who were in kilt but with a dinner jacket, they all wore dark suits. Even little Trevor was dressed up and seemed to be proud that the adults allowed him to stand with them, holding a drink - or a lemonade - and talking about serious things. All six men had the same thick and dark hair, some with a small hint of grey at the temples, and their black marble eyes shone mysteriously in the soft lights of the lit Christmas tree and all the candles.

Barbara stood near the crackling fire where usually a settee was placed if there was no party like tonight. She watched the men and wondered that even those who only had married into the family looked quite similar.

"Don't they look gorgeous?" Daze appeared next to her and gave her a glass of orange juice. After the second glass of champagne in the salon she had decided to keep her fingers away from alcohol. Her exhausted body would thank it tomorrow and her confused brain would get no stupid ideas tonight either. And no bloody hangover in the morning.

Barbara only nodded. Her eyes were following Tommy who walked to the long table where the first bottle of champagne was opened right now. Her answer came delayed and obviously rather distracted.

"Very much so." She sighed. Her voice was dripping with delighted longing.

Daze nodded. She had seen where Barbara's eyes had gone and understood completely. "Ah, I wish William would be able to see them now." She also sighed and patted Barbara's arm. "Believe an old Lady, Barbara. Life is too short! Just don't waste it!"

Then she smiled and went to greet the next group of arriving guests.

* * *

 **.**

* * *

 **...**


	18. Dance and Drink

**.**

 **Dance and Drink**

 **.**

* * *

A bit later a jolly party was going on around them. Barbara would not say that it was something she usually attended, there were no loud cheers, no boozers, the music was decent and mostly classical and the setting and the people also were completely different to all she was used to, but it still was enjoyable and everybody seemed to have fun. At the moment she was standing with Tommy. A few minutes earlier they had been in a deep conversation with Hendrik about horses. It was a topic she never had thought could arouse her interest but with Cormoran and Dotty there were two rather unrepresentative equine creatures. But Hendrik had left to greet his wife.

Now Tommy and Barbara just stood there watching the party in its full swing and sipping at their drinks. Neither of them said a word. Their eyes met from time to time with a reassuring smile or a positive grin. They were playing classical music and Barbara prayed he would not ask her to dance.

But he did. With a quizzical look and a nod towards the dancefloor he silently asked. Tommy's face had turned into a grin although Barbara had just raised her eyebrows which told him she thought it was a silly idea. He was just about to say something when Norson returned with his wife at his arm.

"Mary! I'm happy to see you!" Tommy redirected his attention to the midwife.

Barbara was even happier. Mary had rescued her.

* * *

Another bit later Tommy openly asked her if she would give him the pleasure to dance. Barbara blushed.

"No, Sir, I don't dance."

"Err..." He raised his eyebrows in that typical Lynley manner asking her to think about what she had said.

"No, _Tommy_." She shook her head, partly in amused disbelief, partly in rejection to his offer. "But I _still_ don't dance."

"You don't or you can't?" he asked. Barbara inhaled to give a reply but he was quicker. His smile had turned into a disarming grin. He made an inviting gesture towards the dancefloor. "Oh, wait, no. None of that would be a real excuse."

Barbara turned desperate. "Please. I can't." Blushing she thought about her fears that her feelings for Tommy would either put her into deep trouble right there on the dancefloor or into a horrible confusion later when she would recapitulate this evening in her bed.

This time Aljosha came to her rescue. Breathing heavily he pushed his wife towards Tommy. "Go and torture _him_ , Lizzie. I need a drink."

Being the polite host Tommy could not refuse that offer.

* * *

A few hours later little Trevor had politely asked every woman he knew if they would dance with him. When it was Barbara's turn she first hesitated because she already had denied Tommy a dance twice with the pretext that she could not dance at all. The truth was that she probably would not survive being in his arms like that. But the little gentleman in front of her was able to break her heart with his looks alone. A waltz had started and so they entered the dance floor. First they held each other at their hands and only stepped from left to right, and Trevor was not yet really steady in keeping time. It became a better dance when Barbara simply took the boy up. This way they were on the same eye-level and his little arms laid around Barbara almost as if he was a real dancer. In three-quarter time Barbara started to turn around until Trevor leant backwards, let his head fall into his nape and started to laugh and shout for joy.

The waltz was a short one - fortunately, because carrying that boy around with such a speed was in fact rather exhausting for someone with a cold. But she had just been able to blow her nose and use her spray after the work out when two adult arms started to twirl her around. Two adult hands took away her brown shawl while the man whom they belong to walked around Barbara the other way, avoiding to be caught by her eyes. When his face finally came into sight she saw him grinning smugly. Where he had put the cloth was not clear but there also was no time to think about it. He had taken hold of her hand and now was pulling her back onto the dance floor.

"Sir!" Barbara hissed.

"You, mylady, are going to dance with me." Tommy laughed.

"Tommy!" she mumbled. "Please, no!"

"Oh, yes. And don't tell me you can't dance." He pulled her into his arms in something a bit closer than the usual stance and buried his nose in the hair above her ear. "I've seen you and you were brilliant." he murmured. Then his voice turned husky and low. "Only now _I'll_ lead the way."

* * *

If he might already had too many drinks Barbara did not care. Although somewhat thrillingly macho, his playfully brazen words, whispered into her ear, with lips touching her skin so very feather-light, had sent a pleasant shiver through her whole body. She knew she was blushing from the root of her hair across her decolletee to the neckline of the light grey silky top.

Tommy's hand was not placed on her shoulder blade but indecently in the small of her back and the other hand held hers on an extended arm. His grip was firm but not crushing but still their bodies were pressed close and melted into each other as if they were modelled for this. With long strides he led her around the dancefloor never taking his eyes from hers and grinning like mad. He looked overwhelmingly happy but while they danced his mind already was thinking about the moment after the dance when he would thank her with a kiss. Only he felt so many eyes on them he would not be able to do it like he wanted to. It probably only would become a small kiss. If at all. His eyes had wandered down her face to her lips while he felt her body pressed against his. They were slightly opened and she breathed heavy. Although it surely was completely caused by that powerful dance. The hint of a smile graced the corners of her mouth. He sighed and it made him blush and hope she would think it was from his own exhaustion.

Barbara had heard it and almost had sighed in response. This close dance could have gone on forever but her health spared her that. A cough announced itself and she was feeling some prickling in her nose that told her she will surely sneeze soon. When she tried to get rid of the lump in her throat Tommy's sweet look turned into concern and when she coughed a bit he immediately slowed down the waltzing turns.

"Are you okay? I guess this was a bit too much, hm?"

"Ah, I'll recover."

* * *

They shared a smile while they only swayed. It even was a bit more stimulating than the whirling dance before but the music seemed to come to its end anyway. Another turn and a shared grin and then he gave her a peck on the cheek and led her to the door. Barbara's racing heart missed a beat but he only stopped near the table with refreshments. He would not carry her away to some private corner like a part of her secretly had wished.

"I'm going to the Ladies." she croaked and with another cough fled his presence. How on earth could she have thought such things when he only wanted to have a dance, she asked herself disappointed. His body had felt wonderful against hers and never, except for a few dangerous situations at work, had she experienced this closeness with her boss. Without shame she had pressed herself against him, for a few moments not caring at all what he or what the other people in the room might think of her. They had danced. They simply had danced and that was why their proximity was appropriate. Although it was not at all appropriate what she had thought. **  
**

It had felt so very intimate she almost had not been able to think of anything else but his body.

Barbara splashed a lot of cold water in her face before she returned to the party.

* * *

Barbara returned from the toilet and accidentally overheard two women she had not been introduced to talking about her. First she had wanted to return to Tommy and Aljosha and their conversation about classic cars but now she opted for a drink so she directed her feet towards the bar table. She was tired but midnight was close so the party would not go on too long for her. A bit of alcohol would do her good and she needed something to clear her head.

"What sort of shots do you have?" she asked. The young woman behind the table looked quite surprised.

"Well, we have Whisky-"

"I'd like to have one."

"Very well. We have Speys-"

"That'd be nice."

With a grim expression Barbara drank it in one go when Judith came to the bar.

"What are you doing, Barbara? I thought you wanted to stay sober? Had something unbearable happened?" she chuckled.

"Ach!" Barbara grunted.

"What happened?"

"I've heard two women talking about me. Suspecting me to be pregnant." She snorted again.

"What?" Judith had to suppress a short laugh.

Barbara aped a female talking to another "Have you seen her? She's not drinking any alcohol." Then she changed her voice. "Oh, she's having a baby, I tell you. And just imagine - they're not even married." Her eyes randomly killed someone in the room. "Bitches!" she spat.

"Jealous bitches. Who was it?"

"Don't know. We weren't introduced but I don't care. And what should they be jealous of?"

Judith had to suppress another chuckle. Barbara still seemed oblivious. "Isn't it obvious? They think you're with Tommy!"

Barbara looked at Judith as if she was insane. Nobody could think she was with Tommy. They had playfully called it a date for tonight but she was his friend and only present at Howenstow by chance. She shook her head. "That's stupid, Judith!"

"Not at all. You've almost never left his side for the entire evening."

Barbara made a deprecatory sound through her nose. "Bullshit. I'm a common guest. You drink one with me?"

When Judith nodded with amusement sparkling in her eyes Barbara ordered two more whiskies.

"Cheers!"

"To the bitches!"

Grinning they downed it together.

* * *

 **.**

* * *

 **...**


	19. Midnight

**.**

 **Midnight**

 **.**

* * *

When midnight came closer almost all guests went outside. Discretely hidden patio heaters delivered enough warmth so they would not have to wrap themselves in their thick winter coats. The hired staff in its crisp uniforms was walking around and offering everybody a glass of champagne and then suddenly someone started to count down from eighteen. Most joined in after a brief amused chuckle and then midnight was there. The new year had just begun.

Barbara had been standing next to Tommy all the time. When the grandfather clock in the hall struck twelve times the lights outside went out and the first firecrackers went off. Tommy clumsily pulled her into his chest so she gasped but then he held her gently.

"Happy New Year, Barbara!" he whispered.

"Happy New Year, Tommy!" Barbara croaked.

Their eyes had been locked from the moment they had joined in the countdown. They had moved closer when they had reached ten. He had placed a hand on her arm when they had reached five. Their grin had vanished and had made place for a sweet smile they had shared while they had counted down to zero. Expecting him to kiss her now (or if not then probably never) Barbara internally had become explosively excited and had turned even more thrilled when he had placed his arms around her waist with his good wish. Now that he bent down she stood up on tiptoes, keeping her balance by holding his upper arms. Barbara stopped breathing when Tommy closed the distance. Then he hesitated because, fearing she might appear too blatant misreading his intentions, she did so too. But she wanted to be kissed by him right now, in this innocent situation that offered the chance to kiss him 'socially appropriate', so she moved her face another bit forward. It encouraged him to go on and approach his target. He wanted nothing more than kiss her. And this was the best way of getting a taste of her, getting a taste of her lips, getting to know how they felt and most of all getting to know if she would put as much love into this as he had planned to fill his kiss with. He watched her face to try to read her feelings. Next to something he had never seen before Tommy saw confusion. It made him stop another brief moment in which they both already felt each other's warm breath on their skin. And then, just before they continued, Tommy tilted his head just a little bit too much.

All had happened in the first seconds after midnight. And then they almost kissed.

* * *

Well, actually they did kiss. Parts of their lips had really touched for a moment. Because both had been unable to decide if this should become a proper kiss or just a peck on the cheek like after the dance their lips had not fully met. Only the corners of their mouths have briefly touched before their faces returned to some safe distance.

Barbara's stomach was doing happy somersaults when she remembered to fill her lungs with oxygen. She exchanged a shy look with Tommy.

"Well..." she said toneless willing him to kiss her again. Fully on the mouth this time. She managed to not involuntarily lick her lips in anticipation. She was nervous but that gesture would have been a bit too much obvious invitation. She could not force her heart to stop pounding though.

Tommy had seen her lips moving and they simply lured his closer. "Mmmh." he answered vaguely and seeing her shining eyes still looking at him openly pleased, with no shy hesitancy and no spiky defensiveness, he finally dared to bend down again.

He really had planned to give her a proper kiss this time but when another firecracker went off close to them with an enormously loud bang and Barbara jerked looking to where it had come from their isolated bubble unfortunately had burst into pieces.

More firecrackers were heard and the voices of guests reached their ears again. Around them all people cheered for the New Year. Glasses clinked, kisses were exchanged, friends were hugged. The happy noise made them remember that they still were in some sort of public. Apart from that it had turned loud and colourful when Peter, Natasha and Glenn were sending fireworks towards the dark night sky. There was movement in the crowd of people when everybody went around wishing everybody a

"Happy New Year!"

* * *

Judith came by to wish them all the best. She watched them closely. They looked as if something, something extraordinarily important for the two of them, had happened but they obviously had not kissed. Although they still stood close they did not look as enchanted as she had expected them to look if they finally would have realised what they felt for each other. No faces were flushed, no lips slightly swollen, no hair ruffled. Judith could not understand them and would have loved to finally and physically bang their heads together right now.

The fireworks intinsified when other guests fired their crackers and sent up their rockets. In the distance it was clearly visible behind which hill Nanrunnel was because they could see the high clouds reflecting flashing colours. It was a beautiful sight.

Judith was whisked away by two friends so Barbara and Tommy were alone again. Since the party guests had moved closer to the lights from the garden the couple stood a bit at the side and cut off from the others now. They had turned towards the spectacle and opened from their hug but still searching for proximity he had kept his left hand on her left shoulder and her right arm still was around his waist. They stood close, very close, snuggled into each other's side. Their looks were far away and almost empty. Both ostensibly were mesmerised by the fireworks but in fact they concentrated on not shaking too much or leaning too close into the other one's side so it would not become too obvious that they were fixated only on each other. Barbara savoured every moment and every bit of tiny movement left a pleasantly burning nudge wherever he touched her.

Tommy inhaled. He had been about to say something which in the next second he thought to be stupid so he just commented on a huge green explosion near the stars. He turned his head to Barbara when he saw her head's movement towards his and smiled. He could stand like this forever. And perhaps he would eventually muster enough courage to try to kiss her lips properly. Perhaps he would do that right now. Tommy's nerves recognised that she had turned herself a bit more towards him again and placed a soft touch of her fingers onto his stomach. Maybe there would not be a better moment than now.

* * *

There was a loud howling sound coming closer. Who had invited that nuisance factor again? Little pesty nephew Trevor came running around them several times with loud cheers and a tail of fire from a small sparkling children torch. Barbara's eyes followed him with a smile but unfortunately Trevor's appearance also made her remove her hand from his stomach. When he also recognised his mother approaching Tommy reluctantly let go of Barbara completely. He did so not without softly stroking her back with his fingertips, leaving a gentle trace on her waist and, boldly so, briefly moved them across the side of her left bum cheek. She was not unpleased at all but could not help to rip open her eyes slightly shocked about it. Barbara sharply inhaled to give a comment on his touch despite the fact that her own right hand had left his right waist not without gently stroking across his back. His brows were raised and his eyes sparkled challenging. He had enjoyed that touch as much as Barbara had.

Only Daze spared her from saying something stupidly delighted. Although it was Daze's advice Barbara had been about to follow, that woman now was the one who kept her from it.

"Here you are!" his mother cheered unaware that she had interrupted another very special moment. Suddenly the rest of all romance that had sizzled between the two was gone completely. They exchanged good wishes and a hug with Daze and mingled with the other guests.

* * *

After this Barbara only stayed at the party for the remnants of another glass of champagne. She had to go to bed. She had become too exhausted. Exhausted from the day, exhausted from the dinner, from the party of course and also mentally exhausted from the confusing back and forth and all the almost moments she had experienced today with the man she loved.

Half an hour later Barbara had successfully sneaked away from the party without bidding her good night to anybody. She laid in her bed pulling the duvet over her head and tried to get rid of all the irritating feelings and images from this day. She had to wipe all of it from her stupid brain and would start the new year relaxed and beginning it on square one.

Whatever will happen will happen. And if not - so be it.

* * *

 **.**

* * *

 **...**

* * *

 **A/N:** I need a break...


	20. Alcohol

**.**

 **Alcohol**

 **.**

* * *

Like on all days here in Howenstow the morning started late for Barbara. She had slept healthily deep and now, still lying in bed, she zapped through the TV channels. Nothing kept her mind busy for long and so she checked her mobile once again. Tommy probably had been up for a bit longer last night and now obviously still was asleep. She sent a message.

'Still asleep?'

He did not answer for a while and so eventually she went to the bathroom to have a shower. From downstairs came the quiet sounds of some people starting to clean up but Barbara only wanted to snuggle a bit longer into her comfortable bed. For once she would just revel in the laziness which being a guest here offered her. Just when she returned to her room she heard the buzz of her mobile.

'Been up until 3. Now SLIGHTLY hungover. I try to get back to sleep. CU later'

Barbara chuckled. Serves him right, she thought. He had been quite sober when she had seen him for the last time tonight so he obviously had had too much alcohol only _after_ she had left the party and very quickly at that if he was complaining about headaches.

* * *

Partly she was right.

After Tommy had seen her sneaking out of the great hall without a word and up the stairs without coming back he had ordered a whisky and then another one. He had cursed himself for being a coward and a few other things. He was so angry. And he also pitied himself for all of that for a while. Peter, of all people, had stopped him drinking away his sorrow after the third whisky. His brother had actually cheered him up and although his downing rate had lowered just a bit their fun had been a much nicer reason to drink. Apart from Natasha's pregnancy of course.

"Where's Tasha?" Tommy had asked.

"Gone to bed already." Peter had replied.

"Isn't she such a party monster like you are?" A part of him had intended to mean it as in insult but it had led to nothing.

"Of course," Peter had grinned. "but since she's having a baby we've both become a bit more behaved."

"She's... pregnant?!" Tommy almost had dropped his glass.

"You didn't recognise she's not been drinking any alcohol at all?" Peter had asked with a broad grin and red ears.

"You sly dog, you!" Tommy had been so happy for his little brother he had pulled him into a big hug. "That's wonderful news! When will you marry?"

"We're not living in the past, Tommy. It's possible that we're not going to marry at all."

And then Tommy for once had put aside his conservative nurture and so their little brotherly round had become something they should have done a lot earlier. Tommy had felt no pain, no self-pity and had no hurting memories when Peter talked with him about his girlfriend and what they had planned for the future.

* * *

The only thing that constantly had been in his mind had been Barbara. He wanted to be as happy with her as Peter was with Natasha. He remembered it, now that he woke up for the second time this morning, with a lot less pain in his head. When he returned from his ensuite and slipped back under his covers for a few more lazy moments he texted Barbara.

'Aaah! Feeling a lot better now.'

'You should have known better tonight'

'I did know better. But the circumstances... ;-) '

Barbara laughed. Yes, she also had had some 'circumstances' during the party where she would have loved to drink herself into oblivion.

'Too much boring nobility around you? :-D ' she teased.

'No. A nice long convers. With Peter.' After a couple of moments he sent a second text. 'Did you find the party boring? :-( '

Barbara thought about her answer. She had not felt bored tonight. Briefly a bit humiliated when these women had bitched about her but not at all bored. Quite the opposite. It had been a thrilling party with Tommy around her and so close all the time. She typed her answer and in a bold moment even added his name.

'Not at all, Tommy' Her finger hovered above the send-button. Then she deleted his name before sending.

Barbara heard a voice from the corridor. Daze was calling for her son.

"Tommy? Get up, lazy son. I'm not going to tidy up that mess on my own!"

'Duty calls. Don't come downstairs before the bustle is over ;-) '

It was easy for Barbara to obey that order. There still were so many pages in her book to read.

* * *

It was noon already when Barbara finally got up completely. When the loudest bustling had stopped she went downstairs, had a quick breakfast and another coffee in the kitchen where Daze was planning some household things for the next days and since Tommy had driven to Kentrick's farm she wrapped herself into her warm clothes afterwards and went for a stroll. The sun was shining but it was freezing cold. All alone she went down the path where it said 'Will's Table 2/3 m' and when she returned from the monolithic grave in the middle of a paddock she went to the stables. Only the horses were there and so she enjoyed the quiet warmth dwelling on her thoughts about what was going on here. It had been an emotional rollercoaster ride. There had been so many situations in which she had expected Tommy to kiss her but he had not. Not even tonight at midnight. Maybe she really should finally stop waiting, she thought and so her brooding ended with the personal confirmation of yesterda night's resolution that she would simply enjoy the remaining days revelling in lazy luxury, whatever these days would bring.

With that on her mind she returned into the manor, briefly said hello to Tommy who had come back from the farmer and now sat at the computer in his study. The fire in the great hall was lit. The furnitures were put back to where they usually stood. It looked inviting and so Barbara went to get her book to finish it on the settee.

* * *

Eventually Tommy had had enough of reading his E-Mails. Earlier he had helped his brother moving the furniture and even hoovered up the main entrance hall. He had paid a short visit to the stables and to Kentrick, and now it was late in the afternoon so he thought he could allow himself a break until tomorrow. A cup of tea would be nice. That thought steered his feet to the kitchen where his mother was preparing dinner already.

In silence he sat sipping at his cup of tea and halfheartedly read yesterday's paper before he started staring absentminded at something on the fridge door. Daze watched him for a while without saying something. When he sighed, oblivious to what he was doing, she sat down at the table and started to peel potatoes thinking he would start talking to her on his own. She was wrong and Tommy kept silent. After a few moments she quietly addressed him. She knew what bothered him because she had witnessed his behaviour during Barbara's stay here.

"Why don't you finally go and tell her?" Not answering her question her son got up and poured himself a whisky. That fits, Daze thought. Drowning miserable feelings in sorrow like he used to. "Seriously, Tommy?"

He still did not answer.

"Did you kiss her at midnight?"

"What? No! Well, yes... umm... no, not really."

His shoulders slumped with a sigh and he kept on sitting there staring into the amber liquid until Daze had enough. She rubbed her forehead because she now knew she had to push him but she also knew her son. This could easily go into the complete opposite direction, but if she was not going to wake him from his hopeless daydreams he probably never would do anything, or if so it could be too late. Only it was not easy to talk with Tommy about love. Then it broke out of her. She threw away the potato peeler and groaned in annoyance.

* * *

 **.**

* * *

 **...**


	21. A Word in the Kitchen

**.**

 **A Word in the Kitchen**

 **.**

* * *

"Oh, Thomas William Lynley." His head went up. Every time his mother addressed him by his full name it always was going to become a very serious conversation. "Have I really raised such a numb nut? Get your phlegmatic ar...rgh!" She groaned again. "This is painful! Get going! Walk over to her and tell! her!"

Tommy looked at her as if he would not understand what she meant. "What? Barbara?"

"Yes, of course, Barbara!" his mother desperately exclaimed. "Tell her how you feel about her."

"Are you sure?"

"Am I sure... Of course I am sure, son. Everybody is sure. Everybody but you can see it. As if you are blind. Seeing you together during the previous days I've sometimes literally wanted to bang your heads together. It's a pain to see you both so close without anything happening. Everybody waits and she's waiting too, that's for sure!"

"Waiting?"

"Gosh, Tommy!" Daze exclaimed. "How could you be so dull? Why, do you think, Barbara sits here in Howenstow on the settee in the great hall reading the book you've given her, half a world away from her home? Why, do you think, isn't she watching TV on her small cosy sofa in London? Do you think she's come running here because the DI ordered his Sergeant? Or that she wanted to see Judith? Or the horses? Most definitely not, my dear. She's not gotten on that long train journey with such a nasty cold only because Cornwall is such an outstanding beautifully stretch of land. This rural old pile here is definitely no temptation for the urban woman that she is. And I don't think she's come down here just because of my cooking skills or the luxuriously huge bath tub. Can't you see that she's come here because of you? She's come here because she's longed to see you. She's longed to be near you again and as soon as possible after you've been in Newcastle for so long last year. She's wanted to be here with _you_. She's even endured that boringly formal family dinner yesterday."

She raised a hand stopping Tommy's objections. "No, don't say it. It may have been one of the more casual events by our standards but in her eyes it definitely was a proper function. She's endured it, she's even dressed up! Because _you_ were there. And she will endure even more, believe me, as long as it's with you. She'd go to hell with you or straight to Jupiter. Can't you see that? She loves you!"

Tommy looked baffled as if he never would have come up with that idea. Daze raised her eyebrows. He could not be that blind, could he.

* * *

"Yes, she loves you, Tommy, for what you are, by the way, and not for what you have or represent. She rather would like you to be Mr Lynley, the police officer, and not the Earl of Asherton. All this could be frightening, I know that very well. That's probably the reason why she never would dare to make any first step, _your Lordship_. Can't you see it? You and the world you live in are so far away from hers. It's a different universe and even though she loves you, and did so for quite some time, I suppose, she never would have come to think you could reach out your hand to her. And then with your invitation you've fed her hopes that you perhaps might feel the same and when you've told me, with your joyful face, my love, that she'd come here despite her cold, I was hoping that perhaps you'll finally come to your senses and realise it too! Realise what you feel for her. What do you think has made you invite her, has made you drive to Kentrick and plough a way through that horrible weather on Friday to get her home? Well, home has been your own phrase, remember? And what do you think made you invite her, no, literally _beg_ her to come to Howenstow? And don't say you haven't. I've seen and heard you talking to her on the phone."

"You've eavesdropped?"

Daze gave a short laugh. "Of course I have. We all have. We all have watched you both. Oh, don't look so shocked, Tommy. Judith and I of course have talked about you. We were concerned that you've started eating yourself off again. But you seemed to get closer, you've literally blossomed since she's here. Although you still constantly stare holes into walls and windows. Don't you think we don't know what you're thinking of? Don't you think we wouldn't see how you both search for each other's proximity? Every time you've been in the same room. I really can't believe you still haven't..." Daze shook her head. "All those missed moments, Tommy... And I know there've been even more than I know. Now stop chewing your cheeks, Tommy, it's wasted time! Just go and tell her! Tell her that you love her and you'll see, all pieces will easily fall into their places!"

* * *

He did not move, only twirled the whisky in his glass. "You mean...?"

"Yes, of course I mean, you stupid boy!" His mother started to become desperate.

"I'm... sort of... well..." he mumbled.

"You're a coward, Tommy. Sort of." Daze stroked her son's back. "You don't have to be. She's strong, she's grounded, she knows what she wants. Still she restricts herself and denies herself those feelings, suppresses them in order not to get hurt. You know her. You know her past, you've even been part of it. You should see she never would step over the line you've both marked between yourselves. Forget that idiotic line and just make the first step. Go to her."

"So you'd approve of me... I mean Barbara and me being..."

Daze laughed. If this was his only concern... "If I'd approve of it, son? Since when do you care if I'd approve? This question alone should make you realise that it is more serious than anything else before. Everything. And, oh, yes, I very much approve of it. She's lovely. She's strong. And she has her own mind. She pulls your nose back down to earth and she's in love with you as much as you are with her!"

* * *

He still only twirled his drink.

"For heaven's sake, Tommy! Go!"

"I-"

"Now!"

Her son swallowed. Pressing his lips together he diverted his eyes back to the whisky he still had not tasted of yet. But then he deeply sighed before he downed the whole amount of expensive beverage in one go and got up.

"Finally!" Daze murmured and tried to make no sounds when she followed Tommy.

In the doorway to the great hall he stopped but immediately felt his mother's hand softly nudging him forward. "Go!" she breathed. He had not even heard her footsteps. Cautiously he turned his head and saw in her face the lovingly grim expression he knew so well so he trotted into the romantically lit room.

The Christmas decorations still were hanging at the walls and here and there Daze detected some relics from the party, a few paper streamers she had not seen when they had tidied up today. The hall was dimly but romantically lit, the fire was crackling and it was the best setting for what she had made her son be going to do.

* * *

 **.**

* * *

 **...**


	22. What goes on in the Great Hall

**A/N:** Thanks for your ongoing reviews so far. :-)

Finally I've finished the last chapters. Now we can go on with _that scene_ from chapter one. Later there will be a few words about what happened afterwards and I've even written a treat. Now enjoy...

* * *

 **.**

 **What goes on in the Great Hall**

 **.**

* * *

Barbara was curled up on the settee. She was wrapped in warm clothes and one of the red blankets, reading undisturbed and calm. The glass of champagne Daze had brought her earlier stood on the table still almost untouched. Next to it Daze spotted Barbara's nasal spray. Right on cue Barbara sneezed and blew her nose. Despite the still obvious remnants of her cold she had a relaxed expression on her face. Barbara seemed so relaxed, when Tommy approached her she did not even look up but it was clear she had recognised that it was him and nobody else.

Knowing that she should not disturb that fragile moment Daze kept standing in the doorframe, almost not daring to move. Now it was Tommy's turn to finally tell Barbara how he felt but if she had not been completely wrong Barbara will accept it and hopefully they both will finally resolve all the tension that had sizzled between them with the kiss everybody had wished for. There surely had been too many missed moments already.

The main entrance door suddenly opened and Judith came in, dragging Trevor and Pitty with her. Daze turned and before the boisterous boy could say anything she put a finger on her lips to silence the joyful group of three.

'Go!' she mouthed, gently pushed Pitty towards the corridor and with a quick dismissive wave of her hand sent them all away. Judith immediately understood and steered her nephew towards the kitchen. Meanwhile Tommy had finished poking in the fire and making it burn higher again. When Daze returned her attention to the scene in the great hall she saw Tommy sitting on the settee next to the woman he loved.

He only looked at Barbara which almost made his mother say something encouraging from behind to push him further on. Several moments passed unused before Barbara finally put a finger between the pages of her book and looked up.

"What?" she softly asked. Daze stopped breathing. The relaxed woman on the settee kept looking at her son. Unfortunately Daze was not able to see her face but the faint rosy touch in her nape was a very clear sign that she blushed.

* * *

"I love you." Tommy blurted out. Daze could not help but release her breath in an annoyed groan. Her hand went to her mouth but they fortunately had not heard her. "But I don't know how to tell you."

Daze hid her face in the palm of her hands. This was not one of his best moments. Through her spread fingers she watched the couple staring at each other and she desperately waited for anyone to speak. Tommy frowned and chewed on his lips like he had done so many times as a young boy. Daze almost pitied him. Barbara seemed to process what she had heard. Tommy was not smiling anymore but his features still were soft.

"So?" The tenderness in Tommy's voice warmed his mother's heart. With growing sympathy for the two of them she listened to the clumsy conversation. There had been too many barriers between the working partners and it probably was not easy to simply walk across all that rubble of crashed walls and fences. Their eyes surely were locked.

"What?"

"So... what's your answer?"

"To what question?"

"Actually I-"

* * *

For a moment Daze was distracted by Trevor laughing his sweet boyish laughter coming from the kitchen. Then Judith cried a warning. "Stop! Oh, no...!""

But the boy could not be held back with words. "Ah, bollocks." Trevor laughed and trampled with his small feet through the corridor. Daze was too slow to react. She was not able to stop the little tornado from running straight to the settee. He made the adults jerk from their tentative conversation with his police-car howling. When Daze saw that he waved a little green twig above Tommy's head she had to smirk. Maybe this was not going as planned but the little troublemaker maybe accelerate the things happening between them. Tommy obviously was not convinced.

"Shut up, Trevor! Why don't you go and pester your brother?" he grumbled.

Barbara's nervous chuckle earned her all of Daze's sympathies.

Trevor pulled a face. "Ugh - that's stupid! I won't kiss him!"

"Why should you?" Poor Tommy. He frowned. He still had not seen the mistletoe above his head. The moment was short before becoming hilarious and Daze fought hard to not let go of that nervous laughter she felt starting in her stomach. With clumsy gestures and the silly little bells jingling at his ridiculous red fur hat the boy explained to them "You have to kiss him. You know, this is a missiltoo. And Judith told me that when one is under a missiltoo he has to be kissed. So Barbara has to-"

Barbara cut him short. "Darling, I don't _have to_. Even if you'd weave the twig into his hair. I'm only _allowed_ to do so."

 _And you should do that right now or I'll intervene and bang your heads together!_ Daze desperately thought. Her heart skipped a beat. It was a thrilling play that was enfolding before her eyes.

"But I will do you the favour."

* * *

 _Finally!_ A hiccupped sob of happiness came out of the old lady's mouth. She still stood in the doorframe to the great hall when she saw her son's eyes lighting up in a way she had never seen before. She saw the joy in his eyes when Barbara slid another bit closer. She saw him holding his breath. She saw a movement that looked as if Barbara was taking his hand. Daze realised she also had stopped breathing. Only the impatiently hopping little man disturbed her view. "Ah, now go on! Kiss him!" he mewled.

For more steadiness Daze had to grab hold at the wood of the doorframe. _Go on!_ she thought bending forward and willing them to finally kiss.

Barbara bent over to Tommy and stretched her back to get close to his face. His eyes were big. He sat completely still when she got another bit closer. Daze's vision was slightly blurred when Barbara finally gave him a small tentative kiss. Quickly Daze blinked away her tears. Tommy and Barbara had barely touched but after one breath her lips met his again, as light as a feather, Daze could see. Then Barbara kept her posture close to Tommy and let her lips hover above his.

Daze let go of her breath with a small sound. Automatically she put her fingers over her lips but the couple was oblivious to everything else around them. They did not even react when Trevor started to howl triumphantly. They moved another tad closer to each other and _finally!_ started a proper kiss. Slow, tender, almost shy and surprised but closely watched by his nephew. Their lips languidly nudged each other and their faces turned into a smile when they started to play with the tips of each other's tongues before their kiss deepened even more and their arms gently moved around each other in a proper embrace.

* * *

This definitely was too much for the little boy. He pulled a face. "Ugh... gross!" he said and then ran away calling for his aunt. "Juuuudith! They're disgusting!"

When he came past Daze who had put a hand over her happily beating heart he was completely irritated by her enchanted smile. He could not yet understand a mother's joy for her son and his beloved partner finally kissing on the settee after so many years of dancing around each other.

For a long while Daze just watched them and wiped away a few tears. She felt no shame watching them. This kiss had been so overdue and she in fact already had expected it to happen at midnight when the new year had started. She was as happy as Tommy. Her son's grin indicated he almost burst with happiness after the couple had broken apart, completely out of breath. Both broadly smiled. When Barbara blushed touching her lips with the tips of her fingers Tommy pulled her into a gentle hug and let himself fall to the side with her. He kissed the top of her hair and whispered something Daze could not hear with the best will in the world.

* * *

"Sorry for ruining your shirt, Tommy." Daze heard Barbara snuffling into his chest. She chuckled. _This woman..._ she thought.

Tommy's nose still was in Barbara's hair. "I couldn't care less. You still owe me a reply. So?"

His mother only hoped to hear the woman's answer loud and clear. Barbara blowing her nose was clearly audible but she should not stall those words. She finally should tell him that she loved him, how deeply she loved him, how long she had loved him. And then the woman on the settee inhaled. As if it could speed things up Daze nodded.

"Yes!" was all Barbara said.

"Hallelujah!" It suddenly broke out of Daze. Her son's head turned to look at her. Although this outburst had been a bit misplaced she gave him a fond smile. She was so happy for him. For both. And Barbara had said yes as if she had answered to a proposal. "It sounds like I have to plan a wedding party."

Her words made Tommy briefly roll his eyes before he returned his attention to Barbara. It was time for Daze to leave them alone and close the door to the great hall so nobody would disturb them.

And there was something she urgently had to tell Judith.

* * *

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 **...**


	23. Love is in the Air

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 **Love is in the Air**

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* * *

When Tommy saw from the corner of his eye that his mother had left her observation post he cupped Barbara's cheek. One pair of their hands had again begun to entangle their fingers without their attention. On his waist he could feel the warmth of Barbara's hand and that she still crumpled the cloth of his jumper.

Her eyes were big and full of joy when she sat up. It would be an easy thing for Tommy to simply kiss her so she could not voice any objections to his mother's forthright but alluring suggestion. Only when Barbara leaned another bit closer she cried out in pain.

"Ouch!" she whimpered and Tommy jerked back in case he had hurt her somehow. To his surprise Barbara pulled a small piece of yellow plastic from the pocket of her jeans. It was broken.

"What's that?" he wondered.

"My wishing star." she murmured.

"Oh... It's broken..."

Barbara blushed. He saw her eyes darting to his lips that felt so wonderfully kissed. Involuntarily she licked her own. Tommy could not deny that he liked this new seductive side of his Sergeant. He deeply breathed.

"It already has fulfilled my wish." she croaked. Her chin gestured towards him. That she had thought about all this happening, that she had wanted it before, that she even had wished for it to happen made his heart burst and he had to pull her into a tight embrace.

"You always should be careful what you wish for!" he growled onto her lips before he kept her from any further reply with a passionate kiss.

* * *

After a long while in which they only explored how it felt being kissed and caressed by the one that had been there so close for so long and still so far away until now, Tommy thought he should set something right. Surely he would love to propose to her right now but Barbara should not think he was rushing things.

As if he had been rushing things in the previous days...

"You should know it was only a joke." he murmured between two kisses.

"What?" Barbara pushed herself away from his chest. Where there had been joy and love and happiness a few moments ago he now only could see fear. Had she not heard what his mother had said?

"My mother. She was only joking when she said she'd have to plan a wedding." he explained and had to react quickly to keep her from withdrawing from him completely. He placed his hand on her upper arm, giving it a gentle rub. "Haven't you heard her? She's been standing in the doorway when you've... when we've... When I've declared my love for you."

Barbara shook her head. She had no clue what he was talking about. Tommy raked a hand through his hair.

"We're not going to marry. I mean, not so soon. I mean..." He groaned. This was not easy to get out of. He should have kept his mouth shut right at the outset. "I mean, not that I don't want it but..." Tommy stared into her eyes. She had not said anything. "Could you please say something, Barbara? I'm talking myself into trouble and you only-"

"Yes. Now shut up." With a swift motion she returned her lips onto his, racking her brain if she actually had meant her yes as a yes to an unspoken proposal. It was exactly what went through Tommy's mind too before all thoughts were kissed away again.

* * *

Eventually they started another tender conversation with little kisses and longer kisses and lips gently nibbling and sucking between their words.

"Anyway..." Barbara breathed. "I think there would be a few other things to be discussed before we'd think of marriage, hm?"

"Explain. I've forgotten how to think." Tommy sighed looking at Barbara with a smile and the eyes of a lovestruck puppy dog.

She chuckled lightly. "You know the timetable: a kiss, an 'I love you' - not necessarily in that order..." Tommy felt her brief grin on his lips. "Then being a couple for some time, living together for some time - stuff like that."

"You want to move in with me? Splendid." His fingertip caressed her cheek.

"Or you with me! What about that?" Her lips kissed the fingertips that had reached her mouth. She just let go even though her mind still was awake and thought about reality issues but since she had decided on seeing everything relaxed she found it easy to answer the small gentle caresses. This was so marvellous, it could go on forever.

"I would like that." His hand started to caress her neck.

"Somewhere in between all that-" She gave him a small kiss. "we need to think-"

She gave him another small kiss that muffled the words of his answer into a simple "Mmmh."

"...about when we will inform the Met-" A slightly longer kiss wiped away any real worries about work. Barbara's worries about his family could not be wiped off. "...and what your family will say-" Now there was real concern in her voice.

Tommy let his forehead bump against Barbara's. He could not talk to her when their lips were so close all the time. It disturbs his brain. He sighed. "The Met can wait a few days and as to the family... I have the vague idea that they all approve of us very much."

"Is that so?" Barbara tried to reach his lips but he would not let her.

"Mum's been telling me a few things earlier in the kitchen. About you and me. About them wanting to - and this is a quote - 'bang our heads together' every time they've seen us. And she's hinted at missed moments, told me how blind we were and such things."

"Well, it looks as if she was not so blind like you."

"Like me? Oh, and what about a few more signals from you, when you've been so sure?" Tommy smiled. Yes, his mother was completely right. He had been blind. Or stupid. Or both. All of this could have, well, _should_ have happened distinctively earlier.

"I wasn't sure." Barbara shrugged and blushed. "Not at all. I'm not very experienced in reading those signs, you know, I ha-"

He gave her another deep kiss. His tongue fought hers until they parted desirefully panting. "Is that a clear sign for you?" he sighed after he set her lips free again, his hand still on her thigh. They both enjoyed being out of breath due to their intense kisses.

"I'm not yet sure, Tommy." Barbara pulled his lips back on hers.

* * *

A knock did not interrupt them at all. A louder knock at least made them return to the exchange of lighter kisses. When his mother finally opened the door a crack they only just looked at each other and smiled. She touched his lips with her fingertips and he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Waiting for someone to come in they realised that with their heated faces and swollen lips they looked as if they were caught. Their contented smile turned into an unanimous soft chuckle.

"I'm sorry to interrupt." His mother could imagine what they had been doing on the settee all the time while she had prepared dinner. Avoiding to disturb them further Daze did not go into the hall when she called them to the table. "But there's no way I'm able to stall it any longer. The family is hungry. If you want dinner, we're ready in five minutes."

Tommy and Barbara needed eight minutes to share another few kisses, bring their crumpled clothes into order and comb their fingers through each other's hair.

"Ready?" he asked with his hand already on the doorknob.

"Ready." she answered. She gave him a nod. She was more than ready. For everything. Even to face his family.

* * *

"Mmmh. Bangers and mash!" Barbara murmured when they entered the dining room. To their own surprise they were the first at the set table. Daze and Judith still could be heard in the kitchen and someone was just stomping down the stairs. A couple of seconds later Glenn came running in, followed by his little brother nagging that something was unfair.

When all were seated Daze opened her mouth to say something but Tommy harrumphed. His mother looked at him in surprise. Usually she was the one to declare the dinner open, regardless that she was not seated at the head of the table.

"Umm..." he begun. "Before we start I have to announce-"

"Shut up, Tommy. It's obvious." Barbara had cut him short with a shy grin. Judith snorfled, Peter mumbled something unrepeatably naughty and Ian chuckled hiding his face behind his hand. Barbara blushed a bit when she took Tommy's hand that had been lying on the table. She glanced around coyly without really looking up. "Look at their bloody grins."

Then she bent over to him and he understood her invitation that they should simply show them. Across the corner of the table they publicly shared a loving kiss until Daze cleared her throat.

"Well, yes, the most heartfelt congratulations, you two." She smiled seeing them continuing their kiss with their eyes. Then she returned her attention to the others. "And now that this is settled we can... oh, good gracious, Judith! Will you stop... Umm? Peter! Please!" Daze groaned when she saw that even Catrina and Ian had started squeezing their hands with lovestruck faces. She prayed to the heavens that Davinia would stay in her room like she had signalised earlier, talking of some headaches. The old lady really should not witness this. She would probably faint or call this family a shameless bunch of unbehaved people and she would be as scandalised as possible. Daze gave up when Tommy and Barbara shared another small kiss.

"Trevor, Glenn - let's eat before the sausages get cold."

* * *

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	24. Adjusting

**A/N:** Hello connoisseurs! There is an alternative version to this chapter. It starts the same but in the end it's slightly different and distinctively longer. If you've waited for the treat I highly recommend reading the alternative chapter! All others can read this soft version here ;-)

* * *

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 **Adjusting**

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* * *

Dinner was an enjoyable event. In fact nothing really had changed. Different to Barbara's expectations everything was like it had been before. Barbara always had felt welcome to the family and apart from one or the other frightening old Lady or Lord dropping by here and the restrained behaviour with Tommy she always had been able to communicate in a pleasantly normal way with the young Ashertons. Only this time she also was able to openly exchange little caresses with Tommy. After every couple at the table had exchanged a kiss before eating they all returned to normality. The only signs of approval were several smiles or a grin and a slap from Peter on his brother's back and Judith squeezing Barbara's hand when they all followed the young boys into the living room finding the TV already turned on.

There was a constant coming and going this evening. Barbara and Tommy sat cuddled together on the huge lounger, both reading a book. Others watched TV, others went for a talk outside the room (or a cigarette in the backyard in Peter's case), and Daze sat at the small desk in the back of the room leisurely bringing order into some papers, reading or halfheartedly following the TV programme. Drinks were drunk and snacks were nibbled. It was a normal quiet evening after a glittering New Year's party.

* * *

Eventually Barbara had finished the mighty tome Tommy had given her for Christmas. Reading the small piece of paper from the Christmas cracker for one last time and putting it somewhere in the middle of the pages with a dreamy smile she closed the book, put it next to her and after she had reassured herself again what he was reading she snuggled into Tommy's side. Although he had invited her with an open arm he had not really looked up from his Shakespearean play. Feeling her arms wound around his waist he simply placed a kiss on top of her head without taking his eyes from the pages. Slightly uninterested Barbara watched whatever was on TV. After a while the pressure of his hand at her ribs became more intense and when she looked up to Tommy's face she saw him smiling down at her. The invisible membrane of the bubble of bliss that had built around them in an instant made the couple forget about the other people in the room. They shared several slow and long kisses ignorant for what went on outside their lovestruck space.

The boys had gone to bed a long time ago, then Daze left the room, Peter returned with another round of drinks, Natasha also went to bed after she had picked a magazine from the coffee table, Ian and Martin could be heard clinking their glasses in the hall where they were talking before they returned a few minutes later, Judith and Catrina quietly chuckled and when it stopped Barbara and Tommy knew from the silence in the living room that they were alone now. Their kisses turned desireful.

Barbara was pushed backwards by Tommy's passion and almost slid from the backrest down into the seating cushions. Her arms were looped around his neck and her hands ruffled through his hair. They both were heated and Tommy felt something he had not felt for a very long time, if ever as intense like this.

* * *

"Let's go to bed." he sighed onto her lips. It was very clear where this should head. Barbara understood and deep inside she wanted the same. Still she objected for multiple reasons. She feared her inexperience that may cause disappointment in Tommy. She was afraid of the never before experienced intensity of her own desire. And after all she still had the sniffles.

"I can hardly breathe, Tommy!" she murmured onto his neck.

Mock shocked he held her a bit away so he could see her eyes. "My intentions were knightly innocent!" They were not.

"And you think I'd believe that?" Quietly chuckling Barbara nibbled at his upper lip.

"Why shouldn't you?" His teeth softly bit her earlobe. "I'm an honourable man."

"Because your hand, Sir, is under my jumper." she breathed a chuckle into his ear thus sending a shiver across his skin.

"Mmmh!" he softly growled increasing the gentle touch on the skin at her waist. "And I feel something very nice. And soft. And gorgeous. And wonderful. Oh, you feel so good, Barbara..."

"Tommy..."

"If I had known that behind my ummmh... _rough_ Sergeant such a tender, such a loving woman hides herself I definitely would have..." He kissed her before he continued to whisper onto her lips and cheeks and neck and earlobe. "...done this earlier. A lot eyrlier. You're so different to everything I had imagined. You... you're so affectionate, so passionate, so tender, so not at all shy, everything but reserved, and so beautiful, so-"

"Stop sweet talking, Sir, I still have my claws!"

Tommy gently growled. "Oh, I really do hope so."

Blushing deeply Barbara finally slid down completely onto the sofa with her back. Tommy was kneeling sideways above her and they shared a gently desire-driven kiss.

"Oh, Barbara!" Tommy moaned into the crook of her neck. "Your breath seems to be getting better with every kiss we share and I only want to take you-"

* * *

"Ahem!" Daze harrumphed. She almost had to laugh when the ruffled head of her son appeared behind the backrest of the sofa with a confused look.

"Oh, gosh, no..." Barbara groaned but stayed where their outbreak of passion had brought her. Daze surely would not have expected her to sit up anyway.

"Since when are you here, Mum?" Tommy squeaked in surprise.

His mother looked at him across the rim of her glasses. Shaking her head she answered. "Since I've walked in, son. Coming back from the kitchen. These lists don't get sorted by themselves, you know."

"But I haven't heard you return..."

"No wonder. You both have been slightly preoccupied." Daze smirked with a wink. "Well, anyway. Time for an old Lady to call it a day. Good night, both of you."

When the door closed behind her Barbara started to chuckle. When Tommy looked at her with a still baffled expression she broke into such a boisterous laughter that even Daze could hear it on the stairs. It made her smile. It had been high time that someone as normal as Barbara had entered her son's life.

* * *

Tommy's grin died when Barbara's laughter turned into a small fit of coughs. "Time for a sick young lady to call it a day, hm?"

He got up and offered his hand to Barbara only to pull her into an embrace and kiss her gently when she stood. Arm in arm they looked at each other for a while.

"My mother had been right. Everything falls into its place."

"It's quite... wonderful." Barbara smiled.

"I love you, Barbara."

"I love you too, Tommy." Hearing it from her lips made his joy rise to a new level.

"Marvellous!" he breathed before they shared a good night kiss.

* * *

"I have to admit, this was a bit embarrassing." Barbara told him on the way upstairs. "But the look on your face when Daze had addressed us was priceless."

For several moments they exchanged another kiss at the door to her bedroom before he released her. Until that moment he still had hoped she would join his bed tonight but obviously Barbara was of a different opinion. He sighed. He definitely would not talk her into something she would not want yet so he only wished her a good night.

"Sleep well and dream of me." he whispered when she vanished inside. It was not easy for Barbara to resist his affectionate look. Already in his bed Tommy sent a last text message with only three characters.

' :-* '

Both could not sleep for a very long time but when Tommy eventually could, Barbara still tossed and turned. She knew she still had a bit of a cold but it was not too severe anymore so it angered her that it obviously still was going to keep her from sleeping with the man she loved. And being in his bed would not necessarily mean they had to become intimate, would it. She had enjoyed kissing and exchanging caresses with him. She even had enjoyed the more passionate caresses on the sofa but she could not help to also fear the next step. Could she satisfy him? Could she love him like she wanted to although she was so inexperienced? Did they have to tonight?

"Ah, bloody." she murmured when she got up and stuffed some spare underwear into her toilet bag. "We don't have to rush things."

With the help of her mobile's light she tiptoed across the corridor and sneaked into his room without knocking. He was asleep already, she could tell from the soft snoring she heard. Then she slipped under his duvet and tentatively cuddled into his side avoiding to wake him up.

She was asleep in no time.

* * *

"Umm...? Wha'...? Oh, _hello_!" Tommy woke up to the very unfamiliar sound of a woman snoring next to his ears. With delight he turned to Barbara. They had gone to bed seperately and he had not recognised her coming to him tonight so it was all the more a pleasant surprise to have her here beside him now.

Barbara mumbled something and rolled around presenting her back to him. While she turned she took the huge blanket with her but Tommy enjoyed being uncovered that way. It gave him the opportunity to get back under the duvet and this way move closer to her. He looped an arm around her waist. Her pyjama top had slid up during sleep and Tommy's hand had landed straight on her skin.

Again Barbara murmured something incoherent. Tommy buried his nose in her hair.

"Are you awake, my dearest?" he whispered.

"Mmmh." Barbara pulled the duvet over her head and covered his too this way. "No..."

He started to play footsie with her. "Oh, you still have your socks on."

"Sorry." She clumsily pulled them off with her feet without even opening her eyes and murmured into the pillow. "Forgot 'em when I climbed 'ere."

Tommy grinned and moved another bit closer. He could feel the warmth coming from her body. "Weren't your plans of that sort that you'd sleep in your own bed?"

He could hear her yawning before she mumbled her reply. "I tossed and turned..." She sighed. "Then sneaked into your bed to get some sleep."

"I can't say I don't approve of that." Without any shame Tommy pressed his front against her back. Barbara could clearly feel how much he approved and it woke her up completely. Her eyes opened.

"Oh!" she breathed. "Well, good morning, your Lordship."

She did not sound hoarse, her voice was not even overly nasal anymore. Obviously her cold had vanished completely over night.

What a fortunate coincidence.

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 **A/N:** Ah, well, finally finished this one. Thanks for your reviews and encouraging messages!

 **Tess**


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